


Hotch Being A Tired Dad to Six Children

by IcyMelxdy



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Drunk Texting, Gen, No Angst, Platonic Cuddling, groupchat fic, text fic, that one meme where you text in a car crash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 34,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26608933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcyMelxdy/pseuds/IcyMelxdy
Summary: Aaron Hotchner has added David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Spencer Reid, and Penelope Garcia to the chatAaron Hotchner has named the chat The Team--------(The Team)Mon, 2:58 AMDerek Morgan: Hotch what is thisA look into the chaotic BAU groupchat.
Comments: 72
Kudos: 303





	1. Hotch what is this

**Aaron Hotchner has added David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Spencer Reid, and Penelope Garcia to the chat**

**Aaron Hotchner has named the chat The Team**

\--------

**(The Team)**

**Mon, 2:58 AM**

**Derek Morgan:** Hotch what is this

**Aaron Hotchner:** This is a chat intended for the use of business, if we need to relay information on our cases.

**David Rossi:** That’s what phone calls are for, Aaron.

**Aaron Hotchner:** We can’t always call each other, Dave.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Besides, we’ve been working together for years and have never had a group chat before.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I figured it was time for one.

**David Rossi:** Maybe that’s because we spend almost every waking moment together.

**David Rossi:** And have lives outside of this job.

**Derek Morgan:** It’s not Hotch’s fault you don’t like technology Rossi

**David Rossi:** You’re right.

**David Rossi:** I blame your generation.

**Derek Morgan:** I came here to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

**Aaron Hotchner:** Morgan, what?

**Derek Morgan:** Don’t worry about it Hotch

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m starting to regret this choice.

**David Rossi:** That didn’t take long.

**David Rossi:** Must be a new record.

**Emily Prentiss:** sHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP ITS 3 AM 

**Derek Morgan:** Well good morning to you too Emily

**Emily Prentiss:** I will hurt you

**Penelope Garcia:** my chocolate thunder distress signal is beeping

**Penelope Garcia:** sources point to a threat made by a sleep deprived, decaffeinated emily

**Penelope Garcia:** i cant help you with that one

**Derek Morgan:** There you are baby girl

**Penelope Garcia has changed their name to Baby Girl**

**Baby Girl:** im wherever you want me to be my favorite piece of man meat

**Derek Morgan:** Oh boy

**Baby Girl:** i charge by the hour

**Aaron Hotchner:** Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** wait

**Baby Girl:** who all is in this chat

**David Rossi:** Deal with the consequences of your actions, Aaron.

**Baby Girl:** GOODBYE

**Emily Prentiss:** I take it back I’m glad I was awake for that


	2. (👍≖‿‿≖)👍

**(The Team)**

**Mon, 6:34 AM**

**Jennifer Jareau has changed their name to JJ**

**JJ** : What-

**JJ:** Happened-

**Emily Prentiss:** Hotch made a groupchat

**JJ:** I leave you alone for 10 minutes-

**Aaron Hotchner:** Need I remind everyone that this chat was created for business purposes.

**Baby Girl:** im bringing donuts as an apology

**Baby Girl:** thats business related

**Baby Girl:** kind of

**Baby Girl:** we will be eating them in our place of business

**Spencer Reid:** Will the donuts be chocolate frosted with sprinkles?

**Baby Girl:** theres my favorite boy wonder

**Baby Girl:** i was worried you had abandoned me

**Baby Girl:** i felt so alone

**Baby Girl:** i didnt even have my chocolate thunder

**Aaron Hotchner:** Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** o-O

**Baby Girl:** yes there will be chocolate frosted donuts with sprinkles

**Spencer Reid:** Thank you, Garcia.

**Spencer Reid:** (👍≖‿‿≖)👍

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid.

**JJ:** Spence. What.

**Derek Morgan has changed their name to** (👍≖‿‿≖)👍

**JJ:** Morgan. What.

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: What

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍 **:** I don’t see a problem

**Spencer Reid:** I see absolutely no problem.

**David Rossi:** I hate that with every fiber of my being.

**Emily Prentiss:** I’m getting a headache

**Baby Girl:** i claim no responsibility for this

**JJ:** Sorry to disrupt whatever is happening, but we have a case

**JJ:** I want everyone at the round table in 20

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: (👍≖‿‿≖)👍

**JJ:** MORGAN.

**Emily Prentiss:** MORGAN.

**Spencer Reid: .ʎɐʍ ʎɯ uo ɯ╻I**

**Baby Girl:** hey no its my job to do tech savvy stuff.

**Baby Girl: I̷'̷m̷ o̷n̷ m̷y̷ w̷a̷y̷.̷**

**Baby Girl: Wiͥᴛⷮhͪ dͩoͦnuͧᴛⷮs͛.**

**Aaron Hotchner:** Why did I think this was a good idea again?

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: You tell me Hotch

**David Rossi:** Derek, I swear.


	3. So who's in for drinks?

**(The Team)**

**Thurs, 12:26 AM**

**Emily Prentiss:** When we get back I’m going drinking

**Emily Prentiss:** Who’s in

**Emily Prentiss:** I can hear all of your phones going off

**Emily Prentiss:** JJ

**Emily Prentiss:** Reid

**Emily Prentiss:** I am sitting right in front of you

**Emily Prentiss:** This betrayal cuts deep

**Spencer Reid:** Why are you texting us when we’re sitting right in front of you?

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: Reid: 1 / Emily: 0

**Emily Prentiss:** Shut up Morgan

**Emily Prentiss:** And please change your name

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: No

**David Rossi:** Must you text on the jet?

**David Rossi:** More importantly, must you text on the jet we are on with you?

**Emily Prentiss:** Yes

**Emily Prentiss:** In case you haven’t noticed you’re texting back

**Emily Prentiss:** So who’s in for drinks?

**Baby Girl:** did i hear drinks im so in

**JJ:** I could use a drink

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: (👍≖‿‿≖)👍

**Spencer Reid:** (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)👌

**Emily Prentiss:** Morgan and Reid are uninvited

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: What did I ever do to you

**Spencer Reid: ಥ_ಥ**

**David Rossi:** I guess I’m in.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m in.

**Emily Prentiss:** Great

**Emily Prentiss:** Thanks for paying Rossi

**Emily Prentiss:** No backing out.

**David Rossi:** I see you people way too much.

**Spencer Reid: 👊 ( ͡🔥 ͜ʖ ͡🔥)**

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: **👊 ( ͡🔥 ͜ʖ ͡🔥)**

**JJ:** I’m not even gonna ask

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: It’s our way of saying we’re gonna have more fun without you guys

**David Rossi:** This plane cannot land fast enough.


	4. I used to like you, Derek.

**(The Team)**

**Sat, 9:18 AM**

**David Rossi:** Could it be? A Saturday off?

**JJ:** Enjoy it because there will be plenty more cases on Monday.

**Baby Girl:** what are everyone’s plans?

**Baby Girl:** boy wonder and i have got a convention

**Spencer Reid:** I’m going as the Fourth Doctor and Garcia is going as the Queen of Hearts.

**Baby Girl:** i will look better than every other queen out there

**Baby Girl:** there can be only one

**Baby Girl:** of course our young genius will look amazing too

**Spencer Reid:** We’re going to enter a “Best Costume” contest.

**Baby Girl:** if we dont win its rigged

**Baby Girl:** o̸͙̦̘͊̕͝r̸͖͉͔̿͑̈́ i̵̪̿̈́͜͝ c̵̘̞̈́͛̕͜a̵̡͖͔̽̓̕n̵̟͖͚̔͘͘ h̸̦̠͖͊̒̔a̸̻͍͉͋̈́̒c̴̦̫̓̕k̴͔̙͚͑̈́ t̸͕͕̞͑̒h̸̡͖̙͛͑̈́e̸̘̠̾̔ r̴̡͕̫͝͠͝e̵̢̡̞̽͠s̵̡̙̫͘͝u̸͍̙̾̓̓͜l̵͔͙͉̒͌͝t̴̝͎͊͜͝s̵̡̺̙̐͐̒

**Spencer Reid:** Garcia.

**Spencer Reid:** Let’s make that Plan B.

**Baby Girl:** understood roger that

**Emily Prentiss:** That sounds fun

**Emily Prentiss:** I won a nonrefundable sin to win weekend in New Orleans and was gonna take it up

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: Hold up what is a sin to win weekend

**Emily Prentiss:** Because I love you Morgan, I’m not going to tell you

**Emily Prentiss:** If there are some questions you have to ask, you might not be able to handle the answer.

**JJ:** Anyway-

**JJ:** Will and I are having a day with the kids. It’s been too long since last time.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m spending the day with Jack and Jessica. Like JJ said, it’s been too long since we last had a family day out.

**David Rossi:** Cheers to that.

**Spencer Reid:** Isn’t it early for alcohol, Rossi?

**David Rossi:** It’s never too early for alcohol, kid.

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: Well we know Rossi’s plans

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: As for me

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: I’m going to change my chat name

**Emily Prentiss:** Could it be

**JJ:** The day we have been waiting for

**David Rossi:** It has finally arrived?

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: I-

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍: I see how it is

(👍≖‿‿≖)👍  **has changed their name to** ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Suffer.

**Baby Girl:** AASJDABHFHF WHAT IS THAT I LOVE IT

**Emily Prentiss:** I HATE THAT SO MUCH

**Emily Prentiss:** BURN IT

**Baby Girl:** NO DONT ITS SACRED

**David Rossi:** I used to like you, Derek.

**David Rossi:** I used to respect you.

**Spencer Reid:** I have taught you well, Morgan.

**JJ:** The longer this group chat exists the more I question everything I’ve ever known

**Aaron Hotchner:** I give up.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I guess this chat will never be about business.

**David Rossi:** What gave you that idea, Aaron?

**Aaron Hotchner has removed David Rossi from the chat**

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): OH.

**Baby Girl:** PFFT IM CACKLING

**Emily Prentiss:** We love to see it

**Aaron Hotchner:** Anyone else want to mouth off?

**Spencer Reid:** No, Dad.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Good.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Everyone enjoy your weekend.

**JJ:** I’m sorry what just happened-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't remember Reid and Garcia went to a Doctor Who convention so here it's just a regular convention for the sake of plot. Plus, Garcia would look great as a Queen of Hearts.


	5. WELL BYE

**(The Team)**

**Sat, 10:56 PM**

**Baby Girl:** YOU ARE NOT READY FOR THIS

**Baby Girl:** I WON THE COSTUME CONTEST

**Baby Girl:** YOU MAY BOW BEFORE YOUR QUEEN

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I knew you could do it baby girl

**JJ:** Congrats, Garcia

**Baby Girl:** THANK YOU I DIDNT EVEN HACK ANYTHING

**Spencer Reid:** It’s true. She won fair and square. She deserved it.

**Baby Girl:** THAT MEANS SO MUCH THANK YOU SPENCER

**Spencer Reid:** Also, Rossi wants to be added back to the chat.

**Spencer Reid:** The entirety of the convention, he left me 267 messages about being kicked out.

**Spencer Reid:** 169 in English.

**Spencer Reid:** 98 were in Italian.

**Emily Prentiss:** Wow.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Someone’s salty

**JJ:** What was he saying before about the groupchat being a dumb idea?

**Spencer Reid:** That we spend almost every waking moment together and have lives outside of this job.

**JJ:** Ding ding ding

**Spencer Reid:** Make that 268 messages.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): [ https://youtu.be/tVaPws56VSE ](https://youtu.be/tVaPws56VSE) \- David Rossi if he understood humor

**JJ:** MORGAN I-

**Baby Girl:** HAHAHAHAHAHA IM CACKLING AGAIN

**Emily Prentiss:** Remember when Hotch said this was for business?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Want to bet?

**Spencer Reid:** Where did he come from?

**Aaron Hotchner has removed Emily Prentiss from the chat**

**Aaron Hotchner has added David Rossi to the chat**

**David Rossi:** That was rude.

**Spencer Reid: ⁀⊙﹏☉⁀**

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): OH MY GOD

**JJ:** HOTCH IF I WRONGED YOU AT ANY POINT IN MY LIFE I AM SORRY

**Baby Girl:** IS HE ALWAYS WATCHING FROM THE SHADOWS OR WHAT

**Aaron Hotchner:** Welcome back, Dave.

**Aaron Hotchner:** And yes, Penelope.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Yes, I am.

**Baby Girl:** ASDJKSGNJKLF

**Spencer Reid:** ⚈ . ⚈ 

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I GOTTA GO

**JJ:** Whoops Will’s calling I suddenly gotta go bye-

**David Rossi:** Wait.

**David Rossi:** Where’s Emily?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Don’t worry about her, Dave.

**Spencer Reid:**

  
░██╗░░░░░░░██╗███████╗██╗░░░░░██╗░░░░░ ██████╗░██╗░░░██╗███████╗  
░██║░░██╗░░██║██╔════╝██║░░░░░██║░░░░░ ██╔══██╗╚██╗░██╔╝██╔════╝  
░╚██╗████╗██╔╝█████╗░░██║░░░░░██║░░░░░ ██████╦╝░╚████╔╝░█████╗░░  
░░████╔═████║░██╔══╝░░██║░░░░░██║░░░░░ ██╔══██╗░░╚██╔╝░░██╔══╝░░  
░░╚██╔╝░╚██╔╝░███████╗███████╗███████╗ ██████╦╝░░░██║░░░███████╗  
░░░╚═╝░░░╚═╝░░╚══════╝╚══════╝╚══════╝ ╚═════╝░░░░╚═╝░░░╚══════╝

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid.

**Spencer Reid:** I’m sorry, Dad.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’ll let it slide, this time.

**David Rossi:** What exactly did I miss?

**David Rossi:** Actually, never mind.

**David Rossi:** I do not want to know.


	6. You want a venti Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino with 2% milk, 2 shots of espresso, and light caramel drizzle from Starbucks?

**(The Team)**

**Sun, 8:21 AM**

**Spencer Reid:** I don’t think Emily slept.

**Spencer Reid:** I have texts from her dating from when Hotch kicked her out to now.

**Spencer Reid:** 419 texts.

**Spencer Reid:** 112 in English.

**Spencer Reid:** 92 in Spanish.

**Spencer Reid:** 84 in French.

**Spencer Reid:** 78 in Arabic.

**Spencer Reid:** 67 in Russian.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Looks like someone is even saltier than Rossi

**Spencer Reid:** 420 texts. 85 in French.

**JJ:** I can feel Morgan holding back

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I don’t know what you’re talking about

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I am appalled that you would think I would stoop so low for a joke

**Spencer Reid:** 421 texts. 68 in Russian.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Thank goodness that was hurting me

**Spencer Reid:** Hotch, please make it stop.

**Aaron Hotchner has added Emily Prentiss to the chat**

**Emily Prentiss:** That was rude.

**Spencer Reid:** Are you sure the rude part wasn’t you bombarding me with 421 texts overnight?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Reid: 2 / Emily: 0

**Emily Prentiss:** Shut up Morgan

**Emily Prentiss:** And please change your name

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): No.

**David Rossi:** I don’t know what it is.

**David Rossi:** But I’m getting a strange sense of déjà vu.

**JJ:** Oh I wonder why

**JJ:** Anyway, I’m sorry to disrupt your weekend

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Here comes the but

**JJ:** BUT-

**JJ:** We have a case

**JJ:** I need everyone at the round table in 20.

**Emily Prentiss:** Reid.

**Emily Prentiss:** I’m very sorry for texting you all throughout the night.

**Spencer Reid:** You want a venti Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino with 2% milk, 2 shots of espresso, and light caramel drizzle from Starbucks?

**Emily Prentiss:** Have I ever told you how much I love you?

**Spencer Reid:** You want two?

**Emily Prentiss:** I love you so much

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Touching.

**Emily Prentiss:** Good job you ruined the moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if Starbucks still serves this drink, but if not, oh well lol it's for the plot.


	7. its because he didnt stan loona

**(The Team)**

**Wed, 4:20 AM**

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): 420 BLAZE IT

**Aaron Hotchner has removed** ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°) **from the chat**

\--------

**(The Team)**

**Wed, 6:13 AM**

**JJ:** HA

**JJ:** HAHAHAHA

**JJ:** HOW DID I KNOW-

**Emily Prentiss:** Now we REALLY love to see it

**Baby Girl:** i-

**Baby Girl:** its because he didnt stan loona

**David Rossi:** Garcia.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** you know the joke is to say stan loona but i dont even stan loona

**Baby Girl: ͡♥ ͜ʖ ͡♥ 🅢🅣🅐🅝 🅡🅔🅓 🅥🅔🅛🅥🅔🅣 ͡♥ ͜ʖ ͡♥**

**Baby Girl: ͡♥ ͜ʖ ͡♥ 🅢🅣🅐🅝 🅣🅦🅘🅒🅔 ͡♥ ͜ʖ ͡♥**

**Aaron Hotchner has removed Baby Girl from the chat**

  
**Emily Prentiss:** He’s gone mad with power


	8. H̐͒͝e͑̓̕l̔̿l̽̒̓o̓͛͝,̈́͌͐ Ä́͛͝ä́͒̚r̿͋̓o̐n̽͝.̒̽

**(The Team)**

**Wed, 7:28 AM**

**Spencer Reid:** Hotch.

**Spencer Reid:** What have you done.

**Aaron Hotchner:** What?

**Spencer Reid:** They’re here.

**Spencer Reid:** It’s not safe.

**Spencer Reid:** I have never feared them as much as I do now.

**JJ:** Them? What?

**Spencer Reid:** If I don’t make it out of this alive, I need you all to knoafskjdajvsrjgrb

**JJ:** Spence?

**Emily Prentiss:** Reid?

**Spencer Reid has changed their name to** ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

**JJ:** OH MY GOD

**Emily Prentiss:** OH

**Emily Prentiss:** MORGAN AND GARCIA

**Emily Prentiss:** THEY GOT REID

**Aaron Hotchner: ...**

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): H̐͒͝e͑̓̕l̔̿l̽̒̓o̓͛͝,̈́͌͐ Ä́͛͝ä́͒̚r̿͋̓o̐n̽͝.̒̽

**David Rossi:** KID, CAN YOU HEAR US?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): S̽̾p̒͌e͋͆͝n͋͐̕c̾̚͠e͊̈́r̈́͌͊ c̈́̚͝a̽͌͊n̔̐͌'̔̿̐t̾̒ c̾̿͝o̾̔͠m̓͆e̓̈́͐ t͌͛͘o̽̐ t̒͝h̒͛͝e͆͌ p͋̔h̓̾̕o̽̔n̿̐ë́̿ r̒̽͝i̾͠͠g̿̿̒h͛͝͝t͛͋̓ n̐̾̕o̿͑̒w͌͋͘.̔̓̕

**Aaron Hotchner:** My God.

**Aaron Hotchner:** What do you want?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Ä́̕̚d͆̕d̈́̕͠ u̾͒s̓̈́̐ b̐a͑͝͝c͒k̈́͆͐.͌͆̿

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): W̒͒͐e͆̾̽ w̔̐i̔̕͠l̿̕l͒ f͑͌̔o̾͑r̔̒̾g͛͝͝e͊̓̾ẗ́͛̽ ẗ́͐̈́h͐̈́͠i͊̈́̚s̈́̓ h͠͝͝a̒̈́͊p͆͘͝p̈́͆̚e̽̚n͊̽̚e̿̈́̿d̽̿͊. 

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Y͑͝͝o͊͆̽u͛̔̽ w̓̿͠i͛͝l̽̓̚l̓̐ g̽͌e͋͘͝t͐̾̈́ B͊̕ö́̕͝y̽͆̾ W͒͛̽o̔̓͝n͛d͆̈́͝e̓̈́̕r̓̓̈́ b̐͝a̽͆̒c̈́̽͠k̈́̈́͠.͋̚

**Emily Prentiss:** HOTCH GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT

**JJ:** HOTCH JUST DO IT IM SCARED

**Aaron Hotchner:** ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT EVERYONE BE QUIET

**Aaron Hotchner has added** ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°)  **to the chat**

**Aaron Hotchner has added Baby Girl to the chat**

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): T̾͒͝h̾̓a͌̿̈́n͆͝k̽̚͝ y͑ö́͝u̐͝.̔̓

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°)  **has changed their name to Spencer Reid**

**JJ:** SPENCE ARE YOU OKAY

**Emily Prentiss:** SAY SOMETHING REID

**David Rossi:** KID?

**Aaron Hotcnher:** Reid?

**Spencer Reid:** Hotch.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Yeah, Reid?

**Spencer Reid:** I’m going to be late.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Don’t sweat it, Reid.

**Spencer Reid:** Also, Hotch?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Yeah, Reid?

**Spencer Reid:** They said you’re next.

**Aaron Hotchner:** What?

**Emily Prentiss:** HOTCH-

**JJ:** HOTCH-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): ᕙ( ︡'︡益'︠)ง

**Baby Girl:** ᕙ( ︡'︡益'︠)ง

**David Rossi:** Aaron.

**David Rossi:** Run.

**Aaron Hotchner:** T̈́̾̈́o̔̓͝o͘ l̈́͘ä́͐̕t͋͘e̓̾̈́.͌̐̚

**Aaron Hotchner:** F̓͌̒o̓͑̓r̓͑̕g͒̚͝i̾͛̈́v͑͒̒e͐̾͝ b͛̽͘u͆̕t͌͋̈́ n͌͌ë́̓̿v̓̿̈́e̓͛̐r͋̈́̈́ f͒͐͝o̽͠͝r̿̒̿g̓̚͠e̒̽͠ẗ́̈́.̾͝

**JJ:** OH MY GOD

**Emily Prentiss:** HOTCH

**Spencer Reid:** (◑_◑)

**David Rossi:** REID THAT’S NOT HELPFUL.


	9. This chat will never be for business will it?

**(The Team)**

**Wed, 10:14 AM**

**Spencer Reid:** It’s been 2 hours and 46 minutes.

**Spencer Reid: (ㆆ_ㆆ)**

**David Rossi:** Still not helpful, Reid.

**Aaron Hotchner:** They’re gone.

**Emily Prentiss:** HOTCH

**JJ:** YOURE OKAY

**Spencer Reid: (҂ ᵔ ᴗ ᵔ )ᕤ (҂ ᵔ ᴗ ᵔ )ᕤ**

**Aaron Hotchner:** This chat will never be for business will it?

**David Rossi:** No, Aaron.

**David Rossi:** It will not.


	10. I want it that way~

**(The Team)**

**Fri, 11:48 PM**

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): You are

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): my fire

**Baby Girl:** The one

**Baby Girl:** desire

**JJ:** Believe

**JJ:** when I say

**Emily Prentiss:** I want it that way

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): TELL ME WHY

**David Rossi:** Ain’t nothing but a heartache

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): TELL ME WHY

**Spencer Reid:** Ain’t nothing but a mistake

**Aaron Hotchner:** I never want to hear you say

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I WANT IT THAT WAY

**Baby Girl:** I WANT IT THAT WAY

**Emily Prentiss:** I WANT IT THAT WAY

**Spencer Reid:**

╔══╗╔╦═╦╦══╦═╦╦══╗╔══╦══╗╔══╦╗╔╦══╦══╗╔╦═╦╦══╦═╦╗  
╚║║╝║║║║║╔╗║║║╠╗╔╝╚║║╩╗╔╝╚╗╔╣╚╝║╔╗╠╗╔╝║║║║║╔╗╠╗║║  
╔║║╗║║║║║╠╣║║║║║║─ ╔║║╗║║── ║║║╔╗║╠╣║║║─ ║║║║║╠╣╠╩╗║  
╚══╝╚═╩═╩╝╚╩╩═╝╚╝─ ╚══╝╚╝── ╚╝╚╝╚╩╝╚╝╚╝─ ╚═╩═╩╝╚╩══╝

**David Rossi:** So close.


	11. all around me are familiar faces-

**(The Team)**

**Tues, 3:30 AM**

**JJ:** Sorry to wake you up but we have a case.

**JJ:** I need everyone at the round table in 30.

**David Rossi:** Can’t the bad guys ever take a day off?

\--------

**(The Team)**

**Tues, 3:45 AM**

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Here I am

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Minding my business

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Heading to the conference room

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): And what do I see?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): _*image attached*_

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Pretty Boy over here

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Asleep with his face literally in a book

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): At his desk

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): How is he breathing?

**David Rossi:** I can feel Aaron sighing from the other side of his screen.

**Emily Prentiss:** _*screenshot taken*_

**JJ:** _*screenshot taken*_

**Baby Girl: *** _screenshot taken*_

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): *maniacal laugh*

**JJ:** Morgan

**JJ:** What did you do?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Don’t worry about it

\--------

**(The Team)**

**Tues, 5:30 AM**

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Here we are

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): On the jet

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Nothing out of the ordinary

**Emily Prentiss:** Whos phone is making those noises?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): There’s noises?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I wouldn’t know

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Everything is normal

**Spencer Reid:** Morgan.

**Spencer Reid:** I will crush you.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): *maniacal laugh*

**Spencer Reid:** It’s on.

**JJ:** Wait I’m still confused-

**JJ:** Morgan what did you do?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I didn’t do anything

**Baby Girl:** i did

**Spencer Reid:** They changed my notification settings to play a different Vine every notification I get.

**Spencer Reid:** And I can’t turn the volume down.

**Spencer Reid:** How did you even do that?

**Baby Girl:** you dont know the half of my skills

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): LOOK AT THIS GRAAAPH

**Emily Prentiss:** I shouldn’t laugh

**Aaron Hotchner:** No, you should be looking over the case files. You all should be looking over the case files.

**JJ:** Yikes

**David Rossi:** I want to say something but I don’t want to get kicked out again.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Same

**Baby Girl:** same

**Emily Prentiss:** Same

**Spencer Reid:** That’s great.

**Spencer Reid:** ㄒ卄闩七 丂〸讠㇄㇄ ᗪㄖ🝗丂𝓝丶セ ﾁ讠〤 爪丫 尸卄ㄖ𝓝🝗.

**Baby Girl: ...**

**Baby Girl:** all around me are familiar faces-

**Spencer Reid:** You two exhaust me.

**Aaron Hotchner:** It’s too early for this.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I feel like a father having to deal with six five year olds.

**David Rossi:** Even me?

**Aaron Hotchner:** You’re on this team, right?

**David Rossi:** I am offended.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): [ https://youtu.be/maCLfF1TmQc ](https://youtu.be/maCLfF1TmQc) \- David Rossi if he understood humor part 2

**JJ:** HAHAHAHAHA

**Emily Prentiss:** Hotch is regretting all his life choices rn

**Emily Prentiss:** I can see it in his face

**Baby Girl:** answer my video call i want to see-

**Spencer Reid:** G̷a̷r̷c̷i̷a̷.̷

**Spencer Reid:** F̷i̷x̷ m̷y̷ p̷h̷o̷n̷e̷.̷

**Baby Girl:** o-O

**Baby Girl:** whoops my battery is almost dead-

**Baby Girl:** gotta blAST-

**Spencer Reid:**

▒█▀▀█ ░█▀▀█ ▒█▀▀ █ ▒█▀▀█ ▀█▀ ░ █▀▀█ ░   
▒█ ░▄▄ ▒█▄▄█▒█▄▄▀ ▒█. ▒█░ ▒█▄▄█ ▄   
▒█▄▄█ ▒█░▒█ ▒█▒▒█▒█▄▄█ ▄█▄ ▒█░▒█ 

**Baby Girl:**...

**Baby Girl:** thats so demonic-  
  


**Aaron Hotchner:** Children.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Behave.

**Spencer Reid:** Tell Garcia and Morgan to fix my phone, Dad.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Fix Reid’s phone or you’re grounded.

**Aaron Hotchner:** The both of you.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I didn’t even do anything!

**Aaron Hotchner:** You stole Reid’s phone while he was asleep at his desk, where he shouldn’t have even been at that time, and gave it to Garcia to hack.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Whoops gotta go-

**Aaron Hotchner:** Have you forgotten you’re still on the jet?

**Aaron Hotchner:** With me?

**Aaron Hotchner:** And it is now 5:40 in the morning?

**Aaron Hotchner:** And the jet doesn’t land for another 20 minutes?

**Aaron Hotchner:** And I haven’t had enough coffee?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Baby Girl will you do me a solid and fix the kid’s phone?

**Baby Girl:** giving in that easily?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Baby Girl

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Hotch is glaring at me from across the jet.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I am not ashamed to admit I’m terrified right now.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): But the vines still playing from Reid’s phone are making me laugh-

**Aaron Hotchner:** Morgan.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): ACK-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): GARCIA FIX HIS PHONE-

**Baby Girl:** IS HE HURTING YOU ILL FIGHT

**Aaron Hotchner:** Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** ☉.̫☉

**Baby Girl: ⁱᵐ ᵒⁿ ⁱᵗ‧‧‧**

**Baby Girl:**...

**Baby Girl: ᵈᵒⁿᵉ**

**Spencer Reid:** Thanks, Dad.

**Aaron Hotchner:** You’re not innocent, either.

**Aaron Hotchner:** We’ve talked about you pulling all nighters at the office and to not do that.

**Spencer Reid:** סּ_סּ

**Aaron Hotchner:** Don’t סּ_סּ me.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): OH.

**Spencer Reid:** How is it I’m in more trouble than Morgan and Garcia who hacked my phone?

**Aaron Hotchner:** You’ll get them back. That’s their punishment.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): UH-

**Baby Girl:** derek why did you recruit me i dont want to die-

**Aaron Hotchner:** Anyway, you knew you weren’t supposed to be pulling all nighters as that is not healthy.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Work can wait as your health comes first.

**Spencer Reid:** I’m sorry, Dad.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Is that all you have to say?

**Spencer Reid:**...

**Spencer Reid: 𝔖𝔬𝔯𝔯𝔶 ℑ 𝔤𝔬𝔱 𝔠𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱.**

**Aaron Hotchner has removed Spencer Reid from the chat**

**Emily Prentiss:** PFFT-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°) **:** OH.

**JJ:** OH MY GOD

**Baby Girl:** why am i never there when the tea goes down

**Aaron Hotchner:** ಠ益ಠ

**David Rossi:** Aaron.

**David Rossi:** Are you okay?

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

**David Rossi:** Do you want coffee?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Yes.

**David Rossi:** Anything else?

**Aaron Hotchner:** I want to go to sleep and not have to deal with rambunctious five year olds at five in the morning in an enclosed space.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Hotch.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): You know you declared war on Reid after removing him from the chat right?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Look at him

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): He’s planning his next move

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): You won’t be sleeping for a long while man

**Aaron Hotchner:** Let me out.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Let me off.

**JJ:** As the only person who hasn’t been removed from this chat-

**JJ:** I would just like to say-

**JJ:** PAY UP LOSERS

**Aaron Hotchner:** Do I want to know?

**Emily Prentiss:** A while ago we made a bet over who would be the sole survivor of this chat and not get kicked out

**Emily Prentiss:** Morgan and I bet with Reid that he wouldnt get kicked out

**Emily Prentiss:** Rossi and Garcia bet with JJ that she would win

**Emily Prentiss:** Now we owe them 40 bucks each

**Aaron Hotchner:** 40 bucks?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Was it really that important?

**Emily Prentiss:** It got more heated than I care to admit

**JJ:** PAY UP

**JJ:** IM HOTCHS FAVORITE LOSERS

**Aaron Hotchner:** I want out.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I never asked for this.

**David Rossi:** Once again, I say.

**David Rossi:** Deal with the consequences of your actions, Aaron.


	12. I grew up in Las Vegas.

**(The Team)**

**Wed, 1:46 AM**

**Aaron Hotchner has added Spencer Reid to the chat**

**Aaron Hotchner has granted Spencer Reid admin rights**

**Spencer Reid has named the chat** [ **https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ** ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)

**Spencer Reid:** You all underestimate me.

\--------

**(** [ **https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ** ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) **)**

**Wed, 6:12 AM**

**Baby Girl:** REID I HATE YOU SO MUCH THATS SUCH AN OLD MEME

**Emily Prentiss:** THAT MEME IS LEGENDARY WHAT ARE YOU SAYING PENELOPE

**JJ:** I didn’t even know Spence knew what memes were.

**Baby Girl:** HE COULDVE CHOSEN ANY SONG AND HE CHOSE THAT

**Baby Girl:** CATALLENA BY ORANGE CARAMEL EXISTS

**Baby Girl:** THEIR SCREAMS ARE ICONIC

**Emily Prentiss:** GARCIA NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THAT MEANS

**Baby Girl:** IT MEANS YOU HAVE NO TASTE

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Are we just going to ignore the fact that Hotch added Reid back at 2 in the morning?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): AND GAVE HIM ADMIN RIGHTS?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): WHY HOTCH

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): THERE BETTER BE A GOOD REASON I GOT RICKROLLED

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid.

**Aaron Hotchner:** How.

**Spencer Reid:** I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about, Dad.

**Aaron Hotchner:** It’s crazy how my headaches have tripled since I made this chat.

**Spencer Reid:**

╔════╦╗────╔╗

║╔╗╔╗║║───╔╝╚╗

╚╝║║╚╣╚═╦═╩╗╔╝╔╦══╗╔══╦═╦══╦═══╦╗─╔╗

──║║─║╔╗║╔╗║║─╠╣══╣║╔═╣╔╣╔╗╠══║║║─║║

──║║─║║║║╔╗║╚╗║╠══║║╚═╣║║╔╗║║══╣╚═╝╠╗

──╚╝─╚╝╚╩╝╚╩═╝╚╩══╝╚══╩╝╚╝╚╩═══╩═╗╔╩╝

───────────────────────────────╔═╝║

───────────────────────────────╚══╝

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid.

**Emily Prentiss:** What is happening Im so lost

**Spencer Reid:** v(°∇^*)⌒☆

**Emily Prentiss:** What does that mean-

**JJ:** Spence what did you do

**Spencer Reid:** I have done nothing.

**Spencer Reid:** I am an 𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵.ﾟ☆｡

**Aaron Hotchner:** No, you're not.

**Spencer Reid:** o͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡╮༼;´༎ຶ.̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨.̸̸̨̨ ༎ຶ༽╭o͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡

**Baby Girl:** im naming that gerald.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Garcia. Did you hack into my phone last night?

**JJ:** WHAT-

**Emily Prentiss:** GARCIA

**Baby Girl:** NO I WOULD NEVER

**Emily Prentiss:** Have you looked through my phone before?

**Baby Girl:** S̸͕̪̓͒͜͠T̴̢̿͆̓͜O̴̺̘̾͘P̴̟̙̫͌ A̴͓͎͍͊̒͠T̸͖̞͎̓̽͑Ț̵̢͇̓͝A̸̪̠̞͒̓͊C̵͎͚̾͑̔͜K̵͚͚̺̈́̽͛I̴̪̦̓̔N̴̢̦͎͆͛̚G̵͙͇̦̓̐͝ M̵̢͓̦̒͝E̴̘̦̪͐͆͝ I̵̘͇͛͛͝ J̸̠̦̠͋̈́͆U̸̡̝̻͐͘͝S̵̘̝̙͆̒̓T̴̝̠̙̚͘͠ Ẅ̴͉͇͕́̐͛O̴͇̺͊͆͊K̸͉̞̙͆̒͝E̸̫͚͛͑ U̴̪̘͊͘P̸̡̞͙̒͐̾

**Baby Girl:** no sir i did no such thing i have an alibi

**Aaron Hotchner:** Which is?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Me

**David Rossi:** That alibi seems pretty solid to me.

**Baby Girl:** do-

**Baby Girl:** do you need details?

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

**Baby Girl:** i have phone logs with chocolate thunder the time whatever went down went down at 1:46

**Aaron Hotchner:** Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** bYE GERALD AND I HAVE TO GO

**Aaron Hotchner:** Okay, Reid. Out with it.

**Spencer Reid:** ☆ Out with what? ☆

**Aaron Hotchner:** I didn’t add you back and I would never give you admin rights.

**Spencer Reid:** 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤 𝕙𝕦𝕣𝕥 𝕞𝕖. 

**Spencer Reid: (꒦ິ⍸꒦ິ)**

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Anyway, the other red flag is I didn’t room with anyone at the hotel last night and you roomed with Emily.

**Aaron Hotchner:** How did you get in?

**JJ:** Spence-

**JJ:** You broke into Hotch’s room last night?

**Emily Prentiss:** Wait

**Emily Prentiss:** Where was I when this was happening-

**Spencer Reid:** Asleep.

**Spencer Reid:** Your snoring masked any creaks the door and floor made.

**Emily Prentiss:** REID

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Reid: 3 / Emily: 0

**Emily Prentiss:** SHUT UP MORGAN

**Emily Prentiss:** AND I DONT SNORE

**JJ:** Yeah you do

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Yeah you do

**Baby Girl:** yeah you do

**Emily Prentiss:** WEVE NEVER SHARED A ROOM GARCIA

**Baby Girl:** ive had you over enough times for ladies night

**Baby Girl:** yeah you do

**Emily Prentiss:** WE ARE GETTING OFF TOPIC

**Emily Prentiss:** WHAT IS THIS CONSPIRACY HOTCH IS INVESTED IN ABOUT REID IM REALLY CONFUSED ABOUT IT ITS TOO EARLY FOR BRAIN FUNCTION

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid broke into my room, stole my phone, added himself back, and gave himself admin rights to the chat.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Which I can’t take away.

**Aaron Hotchner:** And I can’t remove him from the chat to forcibly take them away.

**Spencer Reid: ﾟ+｡:.ﾟヽ(*´∀`)ﾉﾟ.:｡+ﾟ**

**Spencer Reid: ｡:.ﾟヽ(´∀`｡)ﾉﾟ.:｡+ﾟ**

**David Rossi:** Touché, kid.

**Aaron Hotchner:** How did you even get into my phone?

**Spencer Reid:** I grew up in Las Vegas.

**Aaron Hotchner:** That answers nothing.

**Spencer Reid:** It answers everything.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid.

**Spencer Reid:** I suddenly have to leave now. Bye.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I hope you’re heading to the police station to work this case we’re on.

**Spencer Reid:** Yes, Dad.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m looking forward to seeing you and learning all about how you broke into my room and my phone undetected without waking me or anyone else up.

**Spencer Reid: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )**

**JJ:** Spence.

**JJ:** Run.

**David Rossi:** Run.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Run.

**Emily Prentiss:** Ru

**Emily Prentiss:** Guys he just dashed out of the room-

**David Rossi:** I heard a door slam.

**JJ:** HOTCH OH MY GOD

**JJ:** IVE NEVER SEEN HIM RUN SO FAST

**JJ:** RUN SPENCE RUN

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): RUN FORREST RUN

**Emily Prentiss:** NOT THE TIME MORGAN

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): SORRY I COULDNT HELP IT

**David Rossi:** FOCUS PEOPLE DOES ANYONE HAVE A VISUAL?

**Baby Girl:** I DO

**Baby Girl:** I HACKED THE CAMERAS AT THE HOTEL

**David Rossi:** Penelope, you what?

**Baby Girl:** DONT WORRY ABOUT IT IM RECORDING THE FOOTAGE

**Baby Girl:**...LEGALLY

**Baby Girl:** ANYWAY-

**Baby Girl:** BOY GENIUS JUST TRIPPED OVER HIS SHOE

**Baby Girl:** STILL HAS A MANAGEABLE HEAD START

**Baby Girl:** WAIT-

**Baby Girl:** NEVERMIND

**JJ:** WHAT GARCIA WHAT

**Baby Girl:** REID JUST FACEPLANTED INTO THE DOOR

**Baby Girl:** FEDERAL AGENT DOWN

**Emily Prentiss:** PENELOPE-

**Baby Girl:** HOTCH CAUGHT UP

**Baby Girl:** HES HAULING HIM ONTO HIS FEET

**Baby Girl:** HES DRAGGING HIM AWAY-

**Baby Girl:** I DONT KNOW WHERE THEY WENT HE TOOK HIM TO A BLIND SPOT

**David Rossi:** I’ll start planning Reid’s funeral.

**Baby Girl:** i have one question before you do

**Baby Girl:** YOU ARE ALL THERE AND IM HERE WHY DONT YOU HELP HIM-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Have you ever seen Hotch run that fast

**Baby Girl:** no

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Exactly

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Don’t try and stop Hotch when he does something out of character

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I learned the hard way

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I still have the scars

**David Rossi:** Me too.

**Baby Girl:** i-

**Baby Girl:** can i be in charge of decorations?

**David Rossi:** Yes.

**Baby Girl:** music?

**David Rossi:** No.

**Baby Girl:**...food?

**David Rossi:** Don’t push it.


	13. That’s what happens when you adopt 6 kids

**(** [ **https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ** ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) **)**

**Wed, 8:37 AM**

**Spencer Reid:** I’m getting really tired of being taken.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): You know that probably won’t be the last time right

**Spencer Reid:** (ʘ __├┬┴┬┴

**Emily Prentiss:** What happened between you and Hotch that lasted for over 2 hours?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Don’t worry about it.

**Spencer Reid:** We did a thing.

**JJ:** A thing?

**Spencer Reid:** Best not talk about the thing.

**JJ:** We’ll talk about the thing later.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Anyway.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I assume you’re all at the police station?

**David Rossi:** Yes.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Do you need us to come in?

**David Rossi:** Well, we could use the kid’s help with a geographical profile and your help to interview unwilling family members.

**Aaron Hotchner:** We’ll be there in 10.

**Spencer Reid:** Speak for yourself.

**Spencer Reid:** I’ll be there in 20.

**Baby Girl:** OH HES ALIVE MY BOY WONDER IS ALIVE

**Baby Girl:** HE BREATHES HE SPEAKS HE TYPES

**Baby Girl:** WHAT DID THE BIG BAD BOSSMAN DO TO YOU

**Aaron Hotchner:** I am still here, Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** o-O

**Baby Girl:** THEY MADE ME DO IT

**Aaron Hotchner:** No, they didn’t.

**Baby Girl:** …

**Baby Girl:** UH GERALD NEEDS ME I GOTTA GO-

**Emily Prentiss:** You good Reid?

**Spencer Reid:** Peachy.

**JJ:** Hotch if you broke him I swear-

**Aaron Hotchner:** I didn’t do anything!

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Bet

**Emily Prentiss:** Bet

**JJ:** Bet

**Baby Girl:** bet

**Baby Girl:** gerald was busy so i never left

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m tired of all of you.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m tired in general.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): That’s what happens when you adopt 6 kids

**David Rossi:** I’m not a kid!

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m not your father!

**Spencer Reid:** ╭(°A°`)╮

**Aaron Hotchner:** I said what I said.

**Spencer Reid:** (╥_╥)

**Spencer Reid: ━╤デ╦︻(▀Ĺ̯▀ ̿)**

**Baby Girl:** SEKJBFKEAJBFAKJEBF REID I LOVE IT

**JJ:** SPENCE-

**Emily Prentiss:** I LIKE THIS REID WHERE HAS HE BEEN

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): HOTCH TAKE IT BACK

**Aaron Hotchner:** ALL RIGHT FINE I TAKE IT BACK

**Aaron Hotchner:** I AM THE FATHER OF SIX UNCONTROLLABLE FIVE YEAR OLDS AGAINST MY WILL AND I REGRET GETTING OUT OF BED EVERY MORNING

**Aaron Hotchner:** Happy now?

**Spencer Reid:** °˖✧◝(*⌒∇⌒*)◜✧˖°

**Spencer Reid:** 𝕍𝕖𝕣𝕪.

**Aaron Hotchner:** There’s the headache I was missing.

**Emily Prentiss:** We love you too Hotch


	14. i have this whole chat to myself

**(** [ **https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ** ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) **)**

**Fri, 1:30 PM**

**Baby Girl:** i cant believe this betrayal

**Baby Girl:** i forgot about the chat name and clicked it

**Baby Girl:** again

**Baby Girl:** i guess technically i betrayed myself

**Baby Girl:** we dont all have eidetic memories like our resident genius

**Baby Girl:** wherever he might be

**Baby Girl:** hello?

**Baby Girl:** i cant tell if youre all ignoring me or if youre busy

**Baby Girl:** uh-

**Baby Girl:** rossi

**Baby Girl:** you are my daad

**Baby Girl:** YOURE MY DAD

**Baby Girl:** boogiewoogiewoogie

**Baby Girl:** whos more the dad between bossman and rossi

**Baby Girl:** i can see them arguing over their kids

**Baby Girl:** meaning us

**Baby Girl:** over whos the better dad

**Baby Girl:** rossi swears hes not a kid

**Baby Girl:** so he has to be our dad

**Baby Girl:** ive never had two dads before

**Baby Girl:** okay youre definitely busy-

**Baby Girl:** i have this whole chat to myself

**Baby Girl:** i dont even need admin rights to have fun in here

**Baby Girl:** @ **Spencer Reid**

**Baby Girl:** subtly is my specialty

**Baby Girl:** anyway-

**Baby Girl:** o͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡╮༼;´༎ຶ.̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨.̸̸̨̨ ༎ຶ༽╭o͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡

**Baby Girl:** its just me and gerald against the world

**Baby Girl:** people say gerald is ugly

**Baby Girl:** but its not true

**Baby Girl:** he just doesnt conform to their idea of beauty

**Baby Girl:** gerald is art

**Baby Girl:** gerald makes me laugh

**Baby Girl:** gerald is a true man

**Baby Girl:** he loves himself

**Baby Girl:** i love myself

**Baby Girl:** you all better love yourselves too

**Baby Girl:** @ **Spencer Reid**

**Baby Girl:** im looking at you boy wonder

**Baby Girl:** anyone could compliment him and hed disagree

**Baby Girl:** hed be like that aint it chief

**Baby Girl:** wow you guys are b u s y busy

**Baby Girl:** i would like to see reid play dodgeball

**Baby Girl:** the more i think about it the more i would pay to see that lol

**Baby Girl:** anyway-

**Baby Girl:** stan bts for the ultimate loving yourself experience

**Baby Girl:** they really out here with 3 albums about love

**Baby Girl:** her

**Baby Girl:** tear

**Baby Girl:** answer

**Baby Girl: (;´༎ຶ益༎ຶ`)♡**

**Baby Girl:** me after effectively streaming title tracks

**Baby Girl:** speaking of-

**Baby Girl: ͡♥ ͜ʖ ͡♥ 🅢🅣🅡🅔🅐🅜 🅜🅞🅝🅢🅣🅔🅡 🅑🅨 🅘🅡🅔🅝🅔 🅐🅝🅓 🅢🅔🅤🅛🅖🅘 🅕🅞🅡 🅒🅛🅔🅐🅡 🅢🅚🅘🅝 ͡♥ ͜ʖ ͡♥**

**Baby girl:** theyre such queens

**Baby Girl:** ALL WOMEN

**Baby Girl:** ARE QUEENS

**Baby Girl:** IF SHE BREATHES

**Baby Girl:** SHES A THOOOOOOT

**Baby Girl:** *intense lightsaber battle ensues*

**Baby Girl:** WAIT I HAVE EMOTICONS FOR THIS

**Baby Girl:** ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ¤=[]:::::>

**Baby Girl:** <:::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽

**Baby Girl:** @ **Spencer Reid**

**Baby Girl:** wow im really coming for your shins today

**Baby Girl:** but either way

**Baby Girl:** youre not the only one who knows how to use emoticons

**Baby Girl: 🅰🅽🅳 🆃🅴🆇🆃 🆃🆁🅰🅽🆂🅵🅾🆁🅼🅴🆁🆂**

**Baby Girl:** maybe i should attack someone else-

**Baby Girl:** after all boy wonder brought gerald into existence in the first place

**Baby Girl:** if gerald could be made into a figurine i would buy 7

**Baby Girl:** one for my desk

**Baby Girl:** the rest to hide around your places of residency

**Baby Girl:** maybe one more for the jet

**Baby Girl:** and then 6 more for your desks and offices

**Baby Girl:** imagine jj opening a case file to be greeted with gerald

**Baby Girl:** thats a really funny image

**Baby Girl:** i would have to yeet myself out of the room to avoid her wrath

**Baby Girl:** THIS _____ EMPTY

**Baby Girl:** YEET

**Baby Girl:** that vine has inappropriate language that i will not tolerate in this chat

**Baby Girl:** the outside world is a different story

**Baby Girl:** the other day i was watching blackpink perform how you like that

**Baby Girl: ͡♥ ͜ʖ ͡♥** 🅢🅣🅡🅔🅐🅜 🅗🅨🅛🅣 🅐🅝🅓 🅢🅣🅐🅝 🅑🅛🅐🅒🅚🅟🅘🅝🅚 🅕🅞🅡 🅒🅛🅔🅐🅡 🅢🅚🅘🅝 **͡♥ ͜ʖ ͡♥**

**Baby Girl:** anyway-

**Baby Girl:** they censored jennies iconic line and i was upsetti spaghetti

**Baby Girl:** BRING OUT YOUR BOSS _____

**Baby Girl:** no i will not bring out hotch

**Baby Girl:** bring him to what-

**Baby Girl:** he doesnt leave his office unless he has to anyway

**Baby Girl:** that song is a bop tho

**Baby Girl:** HOW YOU LIKE THAT

**Spencer Reid:** 보란 듯이 무너졌어

**Spencer Reid:** 바닥을 뚫고 저 지하까지

**Baby Girl:** WHERE DID YOU COME FROM

**Spencer Reid:** 옷 끝자락 잡겠다고

**Spencer Reid:** 저 높이 두 손을 뻗어봐도

**Baby Girl:** HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE

**Spencer Reid:** 다시 캄캄한 이곳에 light up the sky

**Spencer Reid:** 네 두 눈을 보며 I'll kiss you goodbye

**Spencer Reid:** 실컷 비웃어라 꼴좋으니까

**Spencer Reid:** 이제 너희 하나 둘 셋

**Baby Girl:** WHAT IS HAPPENING IM SCARED

**Spencer Reid:** Ha, how you like that?

**Baby Girl:** y-

**Baby Girl:** you gon like that, that that that, that, that that that, that

**Spencer Reid:** How you like that?

**Spencer Reid:** Bada bing, bada boom, boom, boom

**Baby Girl:** …

**Baby Girl:** how you like that, that that that, that, that that that, that

**Spencer Reid:** Now,

**Baby Girl:** (ﾟДﾟ?)

**Spencer Reid:** Look at you, now look at me.

**Spencer Reid:** Look at you, now look at me.

**Spencer Reid:** Look at you, now look at me.

**Spencer Reid:** How you like that?

**Baby Girl:** n-

**Baby Girl:** now

**Baby Girl:** look at you, now look at me

**Baby Girl:** look at you, now look at me

**Baby Girl:** look at you, now look at me

**Baby Girl:** how you like that?

**Spencer Reid:** That was fun.

**Baby Girl:** WHAT WAS THAT

**Spencer Reid:** We were busy because we were delivering the profile.

**Baby Girl:** OKAY?

**Baby Girl:** HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT SONG-

**Baby Girl:** REID

**Baby Girl:** YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS I NEED ANSWERS

**Baby Girl:** HELLO-

**Emily Prentiss:** Wow

**Emily Prentiss:** You don’t hold back Penelope

**Baby Girl:** I-

**Baby Girl:** YOU STILL HAVE POOR TASTE EMILY PRENTISS

**Emily Prentiss:** I have done nothing to you.

**Emily Prentiss:** Plain Jane get hijacked, don’t like me? Then tell me how you like that, like that

**Baby Girl:** ( ✖ ਊ ✖)

**Baby Girl:** GOODBYE

**Aaron Hotchner:** Is Gerald waiting?

**Baby Girl:** ASFJHBABFABUEFBAEKFV


	15. Have fun picking them up while I bleach my eyes to forget what I witnessed.

**(** [ **https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ** ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) **)**

**Mon, 3:11 AM**

**Spencer Reid:** Herrereyyy

**Spencer Reid:** Guuiiiyysys

**Emily Prentiss:** What-

**Emily Prentiss:** is that-

**Emily Prentiss:** Who are you and what have you done with Reid?

**Spencer Reid:** Whooioo iss whooo

**Spencer Reid:** Immm meeeeee

**Baby Girl:** oh my god

**Spencer Reid:** Guiiuuyyss

**Spencer Reid:** Guiiuesss whaatttyut

**JJ:** Spence are you drunk?

**Spencer Reid:** Nnooooio

**Spencer Reid:** I doonngnhtt 

**Spencer Reid:** dooooi thtaat

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Oh he’s definitely hammered

**David Rossi:** Extremely.

**Spencer Reid:** GuuyYYdddS

**Spencer Reid:** Guuyhuyuyuesss whhghajghtt

**JJ:** What?

**Spencer Reid:** NoonoNOonNOO

**Spencer Reid:** GuyyuuesssSSSSS

**JJ:** I-

**Spencer Reid:** *:･✧⃛(ཽ๑ඕัළඕั๑)✧⃛*:･ I giigigvveve uuppp guesssiiinjgg

**Baby Girl:** again

**Baby Girl:** oh my god

**Emily Prentiss:** Wait-

**Emily Prentiss:** Its past 3 am and we have work today

**Emily Prentiss:** Why is he drunk?

**Emily Prentiss:** WHERE is he drunk?

**Spencer Reid:** Doooniniyytt worryryrryyy

**Spencer Reid:** GUUYUYYSS

**Spencer Reid:** SHHOOOTOTOTTTSSS

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I think

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I think-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Hes at a bar with shots

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Reid

**Spencer Reid:** Yeeeee

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Wow.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): How much have you had to drink?

**Spencer Reid:** Whaattyayaaa meeeeanannasnmn

**Spencer Reid:** IIIMM NOTOTTPT DRUURNNKTNK

**Spencer Reid:** oooohhcapss locklk

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Okay

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Whats the date and time?

**Spencer Reid:** I doonnnootttt knowowowewww

**David Rossi:** I am baffled at the events unfolding before my eyes.

**David Rossi:** Not even when I serve my finest wine and whiskey does he get plastered.

**David Rossi:** That’s usually the rest of us.

**Spencer Reid:** DDAAADDD LOIOIOOOOKK

**Spencer Reid:** IITTYSYSSS THHE GOOIIOD KUSDDSHH

**Aaron Hotchner:** Tthhiisiss iss the dollarrrrr sttooorreee

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): OH MY GOD

**JJ:** ARE THEY DRUNK TOGETHER-

**Baby Girl:** AGDASVHDVAGHFBHKJS

**Aaron Hotchner:** I wwaassnnmnnt DOOIIIONEE

**Spencer Reid:** WOOOOOO GOOOO DAAADDD

**Aaron Hotchner:** Hooiiioewwew goooiiod casaann iitttt beeeee

**Spencer Reid:** SHHSSOOOTTSS

**David Rossi:** Please tell me I am still asleep.

**Emily Prentiss:** I cant believe they got hammered without me the audacity

**Baby Girl:** okay but why ARE THEY TOGETHER AND DRUNK IN THE FIRST PLACE

**Baby Girl:** NOT EVEN DRUNK THEYRE HAMMERED EXTREMELY HAMMERED

**Spencer Reid:** _ *video attached* _

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Is that-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Are they dancing-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): TOGETHER-

**Emily Prentiss:** WHY IS IT SO LOUD I PROBABLY WOKE MY NEIGHBORS

**JJ:** Well no more sleeping tonight

**JJ:** This is more important

**David Rossi:** I cannot unsee what I have seen.

**David Rossi:** Is it wrong to be excited for their hangovers later?

**Emily Prentiss:** If thats wrong I dont want to be right

**Spencer Reid:** _ *video attached* _

**JJ:** Did Hotch just win a drinking contest-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): It seems Pretty Boy is his biggest fan by those screams-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): MY GOD HOW MANY SHOTS ARE ON THAT TABLE

**David Rossi:** These cannot be the same people we work with.

**David Rossi:** I refuse.

**Spencer Reid:** Iiikmmm meeee thooouiiogh

**Aaron Hotchner:** Immm mmeeereeee tooooo ddaaavvfeee

**Baby Girl:** i feel like im in the twilight zone this is so weird

**Aaron Hotchner:** _ *video attached* _

**JJ:** OH MY GOD SPENCE

**Emily Prentiss:** HE DOWNED THOSE LIKE HIS LIFE DEPENDED ON IT

**Emily Prentiss:** REALLY SPENCER 3 COCKTAILS

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Seriously, does someone need to pick them up?

**Spencer Reid:** Nooonoooonno dasdddadd dererovovee heererereee

**Baby Girl:** NO NO NO MISSION ABORT

**Emily Prentiss:** last to say not it has to pick them up

**Emily Prentiss:** Not it

**JJ:** Not it

**David Rossi:** Not it.

**Baby Girl:** NOT IT

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Not it

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): This feels rigged and unfair I want my money back

**David Rossi:** Have fun picking them up while I bleach my eyes to forget what I witnessed.

**Emily Prentiss:** Im going back to sleep dont bother me

**JJ:** Make sure theyre safe

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Got it

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Hey Baby Girl

**Baby Girl:** say no more ive already sent the bars address to your phone

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Can you find-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Well alright then thank you

**Baby Girl:** im here for you my big black 12 pack

**David Rossi:** Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** o-O

**Aaron Hotchner:** Gghhooooddsd oonnnreee GgGaarrscciaaaa

**Baby Girl:** wow hes really out of it

**Aaron Hotchner:** _ *video attached*  _

**Baby Girl:** OHM Y GOD

**Baby Girl:** IF YOURE ASLEEP WAKE UP ITS IMPORTANT

**Baby Girl:** SPENCER

**Baby Girl:** DOING

**Baby Girl:** KARAOKE

**Baby Girl:** THIS IS NOT THE MAN WE WORK WITH NO THIS IS AN IMPOSTOR

**Emily Prentiss:** OH MY GOD I WAS NOT PREPARED WHO IS HE-

**JJ:** I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT SPENCER REID NOTHING

**JJ:** HOW MUCH IS THEIR TAB IM SCARED FOR MORGAN’S WALLET

**David Rossi:** Well.

**David Rossi:** Time to bleach my eyes again.

**Emily Prentiss:** HOTCH’S SCREAMS I-

**Emily Prentiss:** WHO ARE THEY-

**Baby Girl:** is-

**Baby Girl:** is he-

**Baby Girl:** HE IS

**JJ:** IS HE SINGING WHAT I THINK HES SINGING

**Baby Girl:** YES HES SINGING AFRICA OH MY GOD

**Aaron Hotchner:** IIII BLLLKLESSSS THEEEE RREAAAAIINNSSNSS DDOOWN IINN AAAAFFRRFCIXIAAAAA

**Emily Prentiss:** Oh my god he and Reid are gonna want to die later

**David Rossi:** From the hangovers or embarrassment?

**Emily Prentiss:** Both

**David Rossi:** I look forward to it.

**Aaron Hotchner:** _ *video attached* _

**JJ:** OH MY GOD

**JJ:** THOSE HIGH NOTES

**Emily Prentiss:** I think thats called screaming

**Baby Girl:** HES SINGING TAKE ON ME

**Baby Girl:** ICONIC

**Aaron Hotchner:** TAAAAASAAALLLEKKEEE OOOONONNNN MRRREEEEEEE

**Spencer Reid:** TTAAATAAAKKEKEEE MEEEEEEEE OONNNNNNNN

**Aaron Hotchner:** IIILLLLKLKLLL BEEEREREE GGGOOGJOENEE

**Spencer Reid:** IIIJNINNN AAA DAADDAADAAYYYY ORRR TWWOWOOOOO

**Baby Girl:** all i see is OWO


	16. They are yelling, incomprehensible, and Hotch is kicking at my seat

**(** [ **https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ** ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) **)**

**Mon, 3:57 AM**

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): You all owe me big time

**JJ:** They that bad?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Their tab was over 100 dollars

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Reid could barely stand on his own two feet as I led him out to my car

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I had to hold him tight against me as he was loudly slurring statistics and facts in my ear

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I could barely understand a word he said

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Then Hotch tried to attack me multiple times as I was walking out with Reid because he didn’t recognize me and he thought I was trying to hurt Reid

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): At least Reid knew who I was

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Hotch tripped over his feet as he was slurring threats at me

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): He fell on his face

**David Rossi:** Please tell me you got a picture of that.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): No because I still had to hold Reid upright

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): He saw Hotch fall and started laughing loudly but I still have my left ear so its fine

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Hotch wasnt going anywhere so I got Reid loaded into the passenger seat and buckled his seatbelt

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): When I got back Hotch still hadnt moved from the floor

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I hauled him up and he still tried to fight me off

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Which didnt work as he was drunk out of his mind

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I dumped him in the backseat, buckled his seatbelt despite his weak punches and slaps, and got in

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): They are yelling, incomprehensible, and Hotch is kicking at my seat

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): And here we are in the present

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I still havent left the parking lot

**David Rossi:** Now who’s the five year old, Aaron?

**Baby Girl:** wow you be 𝒮 𝒯 ℛ 𝒰 𝒢 𝒢 ℒ ℐ 𝒩 𝒢

**Baby Girl:** if you can't read that it says struggling but capitalized and spaced to emphasize you be 𝒮 𝒯 ℛ 𝒰 𝒢 𝒢 ℒ ℐ 𝒩 𝒢

**JJ:** Where are you going to take them?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I have to take them back to my place because strangely I dont have keys to either of their places which kinda feels like an insult but I dont care right now

**JJ:** Do you need any help?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Thanks but no Ive dealt with Emily when shes drunk

**Emily Prentiss:** What does that mean-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Are you really asking that question?

**Emily Prentiss:** Youre right that was a stupid question I apologize

**Spencer Reid:** _ *image attached* _

**David Rossi:** Why do they still have their phones?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Ive given up

**JJ:** Im sorry can we just focus on that picture

**JJ:** Spence’s smile-

**JJ:** Morgan’s head in his hands-

**JJ:** Hotch-

**JJ:** That’s it just Hotch

**David Rossi:** Why am I friends with him?

**Emily Prentiss:** He’s laying upside down with his feet in the air and his head in the floor but he is coherent enough to acknowledge the camera

**Baby Girl:** _ *screenshot taken* _

**Baby Girl:** thats my new desktop wallpaper

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Wait hes upside down-?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): WHEN DID HE UNBUCKLE HIS SEATBELT-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): YES WE ARE THE CHILDREN HERE HOTCH

**JJ:** I think Morgan’s broken-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): NO EVERYTHING IS FINE

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): IM FINALLY STARTING TO DRIVE

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I ALSO TOOK THEIR PHONES

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): THEYRE INSUFFERABLE

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): BUT NO ACCORDING TO HOTCH WE ARE THE CHILDREN

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): EVERYONE IN THIS CHAT OWES ME SO MUCH

  
**JJ:** Yeah Morgan’s broken


	17. *screenshot taken*

**(** [ **https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ** ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) **)**

**Mon, 6:03 AM**

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): You guys are not ready for what I am about to show you

**David Rossi:** What?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): So I got home with Reid and Hotch

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): They were still blackout drunk but had calmed down

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I was able to bring them both inside at once

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I dumped them on my bed since the only other place to sleep was the couch and it would be easier for me to take that

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Best. Decision. Ever.

**Emily Prentiss:** Ill bite why was it the best?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°):  _ *image attached* _

**Emily Prentiss:** I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE

**Emily Prentiss:** _ *screenshot taken* _

**Emily Prentiss:** I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SEE THE DAY

**JJ:** I-

**JJ:** WOW

**JJ:** _*screenshot taken*_

**David Rossi:** The events of last night and this morning will never stop feeling like a fever dream.

**David Rossi:** Or a bad acid trip.

**Baby Girl:** whats all the ruckus

**Baby Girl:** OH-

**Baby Girl:** _ *screenshot taken* _

**Baby Girl:** WE LOVE TO SEE IT

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I cant wait until they wake up

**Baby Girl:** wait so did they fall asleep that way?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): All I know is Hotch is holding Reid close to him

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): And Reid pushed his face into Hotch’s chest

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): After I dumped them I took the money they owed me from their wallets and crashed hard on the couch

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): So I dont know what caused this but I love the results

**Baby Girl:** seconded

**JJ:** Thirded

**Emily Prentiss:** Fourthed

**David Rossi:** I’m tired of all of you.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): HOLD UP THERE IS SHIFTING

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): HOTCH IS CRADLING REID’S HEAD

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): HIS OTHER ARM IS PULLING REID EVEN CLOSER

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): HOW DRUNK-

**Baby Girl:** WHAT DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING SEND US THE BLACKMAIL

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°):  _ *image attached* _

**Baby Girl:** _ *screenshot taken* _

**JJ:** _*screenshot taken*_

**Emily Prentiss:** _ *screenshot taken* _

**David Rossi:** I hate all of you.

**Emily Prentiss:** Not as much as Hotch and Reid will hate us

**JJ:** And themselves

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): And their hangovers

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Speaking of that

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Is it okay if Im late?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I dont trust these two hungover idiots with my house

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Plus I want to witness the aftermath of the aftermath first hand

**David Rossi:** That’s fine. We understand.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Thanks

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): MORE SHIFTING

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): THEIR LEGS ARE TANGLING UNDER THE BLANKET

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): HOW FREAKING DRUNK-

**Baby Girl:** DONT MAKE ME ASK AGAIN

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°):  _ *image attached* _

**Baby Girl:** _ *screenshot taken* _

**JJ:** _*screenshot taken*_

**Emily Prentiss:** _ *screenshot taken* _


	18. I have many regrets.

**(** [ **https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ** ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) **)**

**Mon, 9:43 AM**

**Spencer Reid:** How do I delete my life?

**Aaron Hotchner:** I have many regrets.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Both of you shut up and take the aspirin

**Baby Girl:** OOH THEYRE AWAKE

**David Rossi:** And you have work to do, Penelope.

**Baby Girl:** DONT RUIN THIS FOR ME DAVID

**Aaron Hotchner:** Oh, God.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m scrolling back.

**Aaron Hotchner:** How much did I drink?

**Spencer Reid:** You’re embarrassed?

**Spencer Reid:** I scream-sang.

**Spencer Reid:** Twice.

**Baby Girl:** Iconic song choices tho

**Spencer Reid:** My throat hurts.

**Spencer Reid:** It wasn’t worth it.

**David Rossi:** Why did you two numbskulls go drinking anyway?

**David Rossi:** On a Monday?

**David Rossi:** At 3 am?

**Spencer Reid:** Technically it was Sunday at 11:45.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid.

**JJ:** So you were drinking for 4 hours

**JJ:** Without adult supervision

**Aaron Hotchner:** We are both adults who can take care of ourselves.

**David Rossi:** No, you’re not.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I am offended.

**Spencer Reid: (** ;´༎ຶਊ ༎ຶ`;)

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Don’t even start this with me

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Did you conveniently scroll past my suffering?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Yes.

**Spencer Reid:** Yes.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): OH SO I COME GET YOU AT SCREW ALL IN THE MORNING SO YOU DONT KILL YOURSELVES AND LET YOU SLEEP IT OFF HERE IN MY BED AND YOU DONT EVEN THANK ME OR APOLOGIZE

**Spencer Reid:** Yeah, pretty much.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): All right.

**Baby Girl:** oh?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°):  _ *video attached* _

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°):  _ *video attached* _

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°):  _ *video attached* _

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°):  _ *video attached* _

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°):  _ *video attached* _

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°):  _ *image attached* _

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°):  _ *image attached* _

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°):  _ *image attached* _

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°):  _ *image attached* _

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Suffer.

**Baby Girl:** OH.

**JJ:** Morgan remind me not to get on your bad side-

**Spencer Reid:** Suddenly my head hurts.

**Spencer Reid:** More than it already has been.

**Spencer Reid:** And I hate myself.

**Spencer Reid:** Goodbye.

**Emily Prentiss:** Wait we still dont know why you were drinking 

**Emily Prentiss:** Without me no less

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid and I both stayed late and were the last ones to leave.

**Aaron Hotchner:** When I was leaving he was still at his desk so I dragged him out by his collar.

**Spencer Reid:** Quite literally, might I add.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Anyway.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I dragged him to my car to give him a ride home.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I had planned to go drinking beforehand and I casually mentioned it.

**Aaron Hotchner:** He said he didn’t have any plans so I invited him to go with me.

**Aaron Hotchner:** It started out fine but people kept sending over shots and cocktails.

**Spencer Reid:** They were sending them for you.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Then why did you drink all of them?

**Spencer Reid:** …

**Spencer Reid:** ᴮᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ᵗʰᵉʸ ʷᵉʳᵉ ˢᵉⁿᵈⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉᵐ ᶠᵒʳ ᵐᵉ‧‧‧

**Baby Girl:** oooh boy wonder had some admirers~~

**Emily Prentiss:** So then how did you get wasted Hotch?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid bought drinks and was insistent I drink them.

**Aaron Hotchner:** He’s even more stubborn when drunk.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I also bought my own.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Plus the drinking contest didn’t help.

**David Rossi:** Wow.

**Spencer Reid:** My head and throat hurt and the aspirin isn’t helping.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I’d rather you suffer

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): You’re still in my house and Rossi gave me permission to come in late

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Actually-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Hey Rossi I’m calling in sick

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Cough cough (✖‿✖)

**David Rossi:** That is completely fine Derek. I encourage this decision.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid just laid back down, groaned, and slung his arm over his face.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I think you’ve won, Morgan.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): As always.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I think he fell back asleep.

**Baby Girl:** wait-

**Baby Girl:** ARE YOU STILL IN BED TOGETHER-

**Aaron Hotchner:** Suddenly I think Reid has the right idea.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Goodbye.

**Baby Girl:** WAIT I NEED ANSWERS-

**David Rossi:** Do your work, Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** I-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Dont worry Baby Girl

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Im not going anywhere

**Baby Girl:** this is why i love you


	19. FULFILL THE PROPHECY

**(** [ **https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ** ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) **)**

**Thurs, 2:08 AM**

**Baby Girl:** so sleep is not coming to me tonight so ive been watching vine compilations

**Baby Girl:** cause rip vine

**Baby Girl:** and ive been thinking about vines that represent us so even tho no one asked here-

**Baby Girl:** [its a bear](https://youtu.be/nLtQjM-IA5M) -me

**Baby Girl:** [big bird](https://youtu.be/CobBt7Fz3LY) -my love

**Baby Girl:** [i dont need friends](https://youtu.be/Hyw6kKMjp5A) -rossi

**Baby Girl:** [squidward dab](https://youtu.be/86LqlzZvkRI) -bossman

**Baby Girl:** [kermit](https://youtu.be/2BS3oePljr8) -jj

**Baby Girl:** [ elmo ](https://youtu.be/4Hz3RpiljFk) -boy wonder

**Baby Girl:** [the f- is in the air](https://youtu.be/0DKp4JqF1Ak) -emily

**Baby Girl:** thank you that is all for tonight

**JJ:** If we are choosing vines that represent us here are mine

**Baby Girl:** ooh

**JJ:** [ get yo dog ](https://youtu.be/VHnZYzhRgXI) -Me

**JJ:** [ i aint get no sleep cause of yall ](https://youtu.be/mZgZjbcwhiY) -Emily

**JJ:** [ shut up ](https://youtu.be/XkCDwL7kOgo) -Hotch

**JJ:** [ i coulda dropped my croissant ](https://youtu.be/hRFUZBXOWZI) -Rossi

**JJ:** [ when life gives you lemons ](https://youtu.be/EcLPNGLRHU8) -Spence

**JJ:** [ pickles ](https://youtu.be/_JeaXLqOhEA) -Garcia

**JJ:** [ krispy kreme ](https://youtu.be/ax27VgI-lVE) -Morgan

**David Rossi:** Wait, you’re scared of dogs?

**JJ:** ANYWAY WHOS NEXT-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): The accuracy of both of your collections

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): My time to shine-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): [ people are constantly asking me ](https://youtu.be/dLaN49lUBiw) -Me

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): [ you got this travis ](https://youtu.be/8Pr-p8tCruw) -Baby Girl

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): [ no off topic questions ](https://youtu.be/InQiwMSXmwQ) -Hotch

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): [ that is not correct ](https://youtu.be/Jk6jVl1fAn0) -Pretty Boy

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): [ too much drama at school ](https://youtu.be/fUDekRHZD3U) -JJ

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): [ im washing me and my clothes ](https://youtu.be/c9H7wwfrpgI) -Emily

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): [ ooh wa ah ah ah ](https://youtu.be/axs3j8OXjZc) -Rossi

**Emily Prentiss:** Ive given up on sleeping

**Emily Prentiss:** Vine is dead why am I laughing so much

**Baby Girl:** vine will never die

**Emily Prentiss:** Youre right tho I wanna do this too

**Emily Prentiss:** [dancing with cat](https://youtu.be/F8VzZe1FqEM) -Me

**Emily Prentiss:** [free taco](https://youtu.be/bCgFuREydRM) -Reid

**Emily Prentiss:** [merry chrysler](https://youtu.be/_Z-Nu351j58) -Penelope

**Emily Prentiss:** [woah oh oh oh](https://youtu.be/U8HDMK963dM) -JJ

**Emily Prentiss:** [whoever threw that paper](https://youtu.be/iYx_aGlmyc4) -Rossi

**Emily Prentiss:** [or nawwww](https://youtu.be/KHqswCncYLs) -Morgan

**Emily Prentiss:** [lets mcfreakin lose it](https://youtu.be/OVcENUGgspI) -Hotch

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): HOTCH-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°):” LETS MCFREAKIN LOSE IT-

**Baby Girl:** highest quality

**Baby Girl:** best selection for him lol

**JJ:** I can imagine that is what goes down in his head

**Emily Prentiss:** Thank you I try

**Aaron Hotchner:** What are you all doing? It is two in the morning.

**Baby Girl:** were choosing which vines suit our personalities

**Aaron Hotchner:** Why did I ask?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): You gotta do it now Hotch

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): We know you know vines

**Emily Prentiss:** OH YEAH HE TEXTED ONE WHILE DRUNK

**Aaron Hotchner:** We don’t talk about that.

**JJ:** YES WE DO COME ON HOTCH

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

**Baby Girl:** please?

**JJ:** Please?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Please?

**Emily Prentiss:** Please?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Fine.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Why did I take this job? Why?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Because you love us

**Aaron Hotchner:** I doubt that sometimes.

**Baby Girl:** OOF

**JJ:** Yikes

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): How rude

**Emily Prentiss:** Ouch your words cut me

**Aaron Hotchner:** Anyway.

**Aaron Hotchner:** [that time i had hearing loss](https://youtu.be/n3QfRJsF9Pk) -Me

**Aaron Hotchner:** [2 shots of vodka](https://youtu.be/DgeaO_5bzwA) -Dave

**Aaron Hotchner:** [my sock is wet](https://youtu.be/f0nVpRBrlrU) -Morgan

**Aaron Hotchner:** [talk dirty to me](https://youtu.be/UuckzOysSBg) -JJ

**Aaron Hotchner:** [ya like jazz](https://youtu.be/LMQHayMa9XM) -Garcia

**Aaron Hotchner:** [15 cars](https://youtu.be/jFom-YQ5AAg) -Emily

**Aaron Hotchner:** [shoveling snow](https://youtu.be/hE5ohVhZWho) -Reid

**Emily Prentiss:** Okay Hotch we see you

**Emily Prentiss:** Knowing iconic vines

**Aaron Hotchner:** You have no idea how much I struggled.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): But like

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): These are accurate

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Well done sir

**Aaron Hotchner:** Thank you?

**Aaron Hotchner:** I don’t know how to respond to that.

**David Rossi:** What do you people not understand about sleep?

**David Rossi:** And that humans need at least eight hours of it?

**JJ:** Ooh just in time Rossi

**Emily Prentiss:** This should be good

**David Rossi:** What?

**David Rossi:** No. Oh, no. I am out of here. Goodbye.

**Emily Prentiss:** NO ROSSI YOU HAVE TO

**Baby Girl:** FULFILL THE PROPHECY

**David Rossi:** Aaron couldn’t save himself but I can.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Not if I help them.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): OH?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): HOTCH ON OUR SIDE?

**Aaron Hotchner:** I did it so you have to do it, Dave.

**David Rossi:** That doesn’t mean anything.

**Baby Girl:** _*screenshot taken*_

**Baby Girl:** NEVER FORGET WHEN AARON HOTCHNER TURNED ON DAVID ROSSI

**David Rossi:** I don’t have to do anything.

**Aaron Hotchner:** But you know we won’t stop until you do.

**Emily Prentiss:** What is happening

**JJ:** I dont know and Im too scared to ask

**David Rossi:** Nothing you say will get me to do this.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Hotch you should expose him

**Baby Girl:** yes i like that idea a lot

**David Rossi:** He’s got nothing on me.

**Aaron Hotchner:** You sure about that, Dave?

**David Rossi:** Not anymore.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Oh?

**JJ:** Oh?

**Emily Prentiss:** Oh?

**Baby Girl:** oh?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Hey, Dave.

**Aaron Hotchner:** You remember that time you showed up at my house drunk?

**David Rossi:** Please stop.

**Emily Prentiss:** Please continue

**Aaron Hotchner:** You pulled me to the couch and said you had something to tell me that no one else knew about.

**Aaron Hotchner:** You told me a lot that night.

**JJ:** I am intrigued

**Aaron Hotchner:** He told me many secrets about his personal life that he was intending to take to the grave.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I wonder which one I should tell first.

**David Rossi:** Fine.

**David Rossi:** I give up.

**David Rossi:** You win.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Thank you, Dave.

**Emily Prentiss** : You scare me sometimes Hotch

**Baby Girl:** same

**JJ:** Same

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Same

**David Rossi:** Am I doing this or are you all gonna yap the night away?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Please enlighten us with your Vines, Dave.

**David Rossi:** There are times I regret coming back.

**David Rossi:** This is one of those times.

**David Rossi:** [im out](https://youtu.be/GBtQ4n6NEck) -Me because I was forced to do this against my will

**David Rossi:** [when will you learn](https://youtu.be/iZlpsneDGBQ) -Aaron

**David Rossi:** [look at this graph](https://youtu.be/9NkkZJHova4) -Reid

**David Rossi:** [soda](https://youtu.be/_wkQSF3TdQU) -Emily

**David Rossi:** [take me to the feeling](https://youtu.be/pijQktnJ6Vo) -Garcia

**David Rossi:** [squash banana](https://youtu.be/uUNslYJFxXY) -Morgan

**David Rossi:** [go back to sleep and starve](https://youtu.be/cMzddpU904U) -JJ

**Emily Prentiss:** These are all pretty accurate tho-

**JJ:** He made such a big deal but did so well I-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I still wanna hear these secrets

**Baby Girl:** spill the tea bossman

**David Rossi:** Maybe I should retire again.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Bet. You won’t.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): HOTCH I-

**JJ:** Hotch is a different man at 2 in the morning

**David Rossi:** Anyway.

**David Rossi:** Where’s Reid?

**Aaron Hotchner:** You’re right. He hasn’t said a word.

**David Rossi:** Maybe he’s getting the sleep that was stolen from me.

**Baby Girl:** but he has to send his vines too to complete the prophecy

**JJ:** Want me to yell at him over text to wake him up?

**Baby Girl:** yes we must complete the prophecy

**Emily Prentiss:** What happens once we complete the prophecy Garcia?

**Baby Girl:** absolutely nothing but ive started something great this lovely morning and i intend to finish it

**Emily Prentiss:** Fair enough

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): That being said yes JJ please start yelling

**JJ:** Understood

**JJ:** Roger that

**Emily Prentiss:** This should be good

**JJ:** SPENCER I DONT KNOW YOUR MIDDLE NAME REID

**JJ:** WAKE UP

**JJ:** ITS IMPORTANT

**JJ:** SPENCE

**JJ:** WAKE UP

**Spencer Reid:** I’m up! I’m up!

**Spencer Reid:** What is it?

**JJ:** It’s your turn to choose vines that represent us

**Spencer Reid:** ( ͡ಠ ʖ̯ ͡ಠ)

**Spencer Reid:** Nope. Goodbye.

**JJ:** SPENCE WAIT

**Emily Prentiss:** REID YOU HAVE TO

**Baby Girl:** THE PROPHECY-

**Spencer Reid:** I’m going back to sleep.

**Spencer Reid:** Goodbye.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Hey, Reid?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Remember when we got drunk together 3 days ago and Morgan left us on his bed?

**Spencer Reid:** I don’t like where this is going.

**Emily Prentiss:** I do

**Baby Girl:** spill the tea sis

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m ignoring that.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Anyway, you told me a lot of things.

**Aaron Hotchner:** A lot of things. Secrets, maybe.

**Spencer Reid:** So you’re blackmailing me into this?

**David Rossi:** Join the club, kid.

**David Rossi:** Remember when Aaron called us children?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Rossi is so petty about that it makes me laugh

**David Rossi:** I have reason to be.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Anyway.

**Aaron Hotchner:** We all know you know what Vines are, Reid.

**Spencer Reid:** I just want to go back to bed.

**Emily Prentiss:** Vines first, sleep later

**JJ:** We all did it you’re the last one

**Baby Girl:** рⷬ rͬ oͦ рⷬ hͪ eͤ cͨ y

**Spencer Reid:** Fine.

**Spencer Reid:** You all exhaust me.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): This should be good

**Spencer Reid:**[and just remember](https://youtu.be/vlXyj3lthmc) -Me

**Spencer Reid:** [ no yelling sock ](https://youtu.be/FuLUAiaNVCs) -Hotch

**Spencer Reid:** [ we all die ](https://youtu.be/uWz-PY8qXZw) -Emily

**Spencer Reid:** [ country boy i love you ](https://youtu.be/H2SzEYKbxSg) -JJ

**Spencer Reid:** [ will you let me do what i need to do ](https://youtu.be/jjfUR3cjy9w) -Rossi

**Spencer Reid:** [ hes stealing ](https://youtu.be/D8mK022F4ec) -Morgan

**Spencer Reid:** [ i got it ](https://youtu.be/u2ExIOHzXO0) -Garcia

**Spencer Reid:** Goodbye.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): OH MY GOD THESE ARE ALL SO ACCURATE

**Baby Girl:** REID IS OUR VINE KING I NEVER SAW THAT COMING

**Emily Prentiss:** MINE OH MY GOD-

**Emily Prentiss:** JJ’S OH MY GOD-

**Aaron Hotchner:** Are these how you all perceive me?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Yeah pretty much

**David Rossi:** My favorite of yours was the no off topic questions.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Hmm.

**JJ:** WAIT A MINUTE-

**JJ:** ARE WE ALL GOING TO IGNORE WHAT SPENCER CHOSE FOR HIMSELF

**JJ:** SPENCE-

**Baby Girl:** YOURE RIGHT SELF HATRED IS A BIG NO NO IN THIS CHAT

**David Rossi:** My bet is he’s already asleep.

**JJ:** I-

**JJ:** Should I start yelling again?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Nah you’ll probably corner him at some point today

**JJ:** You’re right

**Emily Prentiss:** Is he really asleep or just ignoring us lol

**Aaron Hotchner:** I know how to find out.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid. I lied.

**Spencer Reid:** What?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Oh?

**Emily Prentiss:** That was easy-

**Aaron Hotchner:** I have little to no recollection of when we were drunk. If you shared anything with me I don’t remember it.

**Spencer Reid:** …

**Spencer Reid:** （￣__￣)

**Spencer Reid:** Goodbye.

**Emily Prentiss:** PFFT-

**JJ:** WAIT SPENCE-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I have a feeling he’s gone for good this time lol

**David Rossi:** Does this mean you lied about my secrets?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Not in the slightest. I have plenty on you.

**David Rossi:** I’m going to retire.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No, you won’t.

**David Rossi:** I hate that you’re right.


	20. WHY AM I BEING YELLED AT I WAS IN A CAR CRASH

**(** [ **https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ** ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) **)**

**Tues, 9:13 AM**

**JJ:** LMAOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT

**Baby Girl:** YOURE PREGNANT

**JJ:** NOPE

**JJ:** GOOD GUESS BUT INCORRECT

**JJ:** ANYONE ELSE WANNA GUESS

**JJ:** YOU’RE ALL IGNORING ME IM HURT

**Aaron Hotchner:** Does it have to do with the fact it’s past 9 and you aren’t here yet?

**JJ:** YES

**JJ:** I’M LITERALLY HURT

**JJ:** I WAS IN A CAR CRASH

**Spencer Reid:** OH MY GOD JJ THAT IS NOT A THING A PERSON GUESSES WHAT-

**Spencer Reid:** »ू(͒ˑ•᷄͡ꇵ͒•᷅͒)ू?!

**Baby Girl:** ASFBAVJFAADFNKAJBDG JJ THAT IS NOT-

**Emily Prentiss:** OH MY GOD JAYJE-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): JJ WHAT THE-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): WHAT

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): UHHH ARE YOU OKAY?

**JJ:** OH YEAH IM FINE MY HEAD HURTS AND I CAN’T FEEL MY LEG BUT EVERYTHING IS FINE

**Aaron Hotchner:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T FEEL YOUR LEG

**JJ:** I MEAN ITS PINNED UNDER METAL WHAT ELSE

**David Rossi:** JJ WHERE ARE YOU

**JJ:** THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION

**Aaron Hotchner:** HAVE YOU CALLED 911

**JJ:** THE PERSON WHO CRASHED INTO ME DID

**JJ:** I ASKED FOR MY PHONE AND HE GAVE IT TO ME AND I TEXTED YOU GUYS

**Spencer Reid:** WHAT ABOUT WILL AND THE KIDS?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): WHERE ARE WILL AND THE KIDS?

**JJ:** THE KIDS ARE AT SCHOOL WILL TOOK THEM AND HE’S AT WORK

**JJ:** I SHOULD LET HIM KNOW-

**Aaron Hotchner:** NO I’LL TAKE CARE OF IT

**Aaron Hotchner:** WHERE ARE YOU

**JJ:** UHHH-

**Emily Prentiss:** YOU DONT KNOW?

**Emily Prentiss:** HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW?

**JJ:** WHY AM I BEING YELLED AT I WAS IN A CAR CRASH

**David Rossi:** THAT IS EXACTLY WHY WE ARE YELLING

**Baby Girl:** EVERYONE SHUT UP IVE GOT HER LOCATION FROM HER PHONE SHES 10 MINUTES AWAY 5 IF WE SPEED LETS GO

**Aaron Hotchner:** WE’RE TAKING THE SUVS I DON’T CARE

**Spencer Reid:** WE’RE COMING JJ

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): JJ ONE QUESTION

**JJ:** WHAT

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): WHY DID YOU OPEN WITH “LMAOOOO GUESS WHAT”

**JJ:** I saw a meme…

**Baby Girl:** OH MY GOD

**David Rossi:** REALLY?

**David Rossi:** ARE YOU SERIOUS?

**Spencer Reid:** YOU RISKED YOUR HEALTH FOR A MEME I CANNOT-

**JJ:** WHEN WAS I GOING TO GET THE OPPORTUNITY AGAIN

**Spencer Reid:** ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽▬▬ι═══════ﺤ

**Emily Prentiss:** THAT’S REID’S WAY OF SAYING YOU WON’T ONCE HE GETS HIS HANDS ON YOU

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT JJ WAS THE SMARTEST WHEN IT CAME TO SELF PRESERVATION

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I COULDNT HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG

**JJ:** THERE IS NO REASON TO ATTACK ME I AM ALREADY HURT

**Aaron Hotchner:** WE KNOW

**JJ:** WHOS DRIVING ANYWAY YOU’VE ALL RESPONDED TO ME

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): DONT WORRY ABOUT IT WERE NOT IN A CRASH

**JJ:** OUCH-

  
 **David Rossi:** JJ JUST SHUT UP AND DONT DIE


	21. I am so tired.

**(** [ **https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ** ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) **)**

**Tues, 11:51 AM**

**Aaron Hotchner:** I am so tired.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I want to go home.

**Aaron Hotchner:** But now I know I can never leave any of you alone.

**JJ:** Hotch everything is fine the doctors said I’ll be back to work in 2 to 3 weeks

**Aaron Hotchner:** That’s not the point.

**Aaron Hotchner:** As Reid said, you risked your health for a meme.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I am so tired.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Also the fact you texted us instead of Will-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Like-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): He’s your husband-

**JJ:** He wouldn’t understand my humor

**David Rossi:** We don’t understand your humor, JJ.

**JJ:** I-

**Emily Prentiss:** You’re just lucky nothing was too damaged in your leg

**JJ:** True

**Spencer Reid:** I’m just glad you’re okay.

**Spencer Reid:** (✿ ♥‿♥)

**JJ:** Aww

**JJ:** Thanks Spence

**Spencer Reid:** But if you ever do something that stupid again, I will end you before the pain does.

**Spencer Reid:** Not really, but still.

**Spencer Reid:** (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง

**JJ:** I-

**Emily Prentiss:** This Reid is back lol

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): HA-

**Baby Girl:** when reid gets threatening i would let him step on me-

**Aaron Hotchner:** I am so tired.

**David Rossi:** I think I have a bottle of the good stuff in my office, Aaron.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Yes.

**Emily Prentiss:** The good stuff, you say?

**David Rossi:** No.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

**Emily Prentiss:** I see how it is.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I am the father, as you say. I deserve a break plus more that I won’t get.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I have an actual child at home and yet being your father is more exhausting.

**Aaron Hotchner:** How did my life get to this point that I have to look after seven children?

**David Rossi:** Are you okay, Aaron?

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m doing great. How are you?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): We broke Hotch

**JJ:** I feel like I’m responsible-

**JJ:** I’ll go now-

**Emily Prentiss:** When you get out of the hospital let’s go drinking because Hotch and Rossi didn’t let me join

**JJ:** I would love nothing more than that

**Baby Girl:** can i come too?

**Emily Prentiss:** Of course

**Baby Girl:** WOO LADIES NIGHT


	22. Wake me up _______

**(** [ **https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ** ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) **)**

**Sat, 4:12 AM**

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I’ve come up with an experiment and I want to see what will happen

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Wake me up __________

**David Rossi:** Before you go go

**Emily Prentiss:** WAKE ME UP INSIDE

**Spencer Reid:** When September ends

**JJ:** When September ends

**Aaron Hotchner:** Before you go go

**Baby Girl:** WAKE ME UP INSIDE

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): As I expected.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): That is all. Goodnight.

**Emily Prentiss:** Wait Morgan

**Emily Prentiss:** Which are you?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): When September ends

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): That song is art and you can not convince me otherwise.

**Emily Prentiss:** Hmm.

**Emily Prentiss:** Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** yes?

**Emily Prentiss:** WAKE ME UP

**Baby Girl:** WAKE ME UP INSIDE

**Emily Prentiss:** I CANT WAKE UP

**Baby Girl:** WAKE ME UP INSIDE

**Emily Prentiss:** SAVE MEEEE

**Baby Girl:** thank you for that lol

**Aaron Hotchner:** Go to bed. It’s 4 in the morning.

**Spencer Reid:** No.

**Spencer Reid:** (⌐▨_▨)

**Baby Girl:** YOU NEED SOME CREAM FOR THAT BURN-

**Aaron Hotchner:** Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** o-O

**Baby Girl:** going to bed sounds like a great idea mmm sleep goodnight everyone-

**David Rossi:** I mean, we don’t have work today.

**David Rossi:** Plus, have you ever known any of us to get a normal night’s sleep?

**JJ:** He’s not wrong-

**Spencer Reid:** What’s a normal night’s sleep?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): What’s sleeping?

**Emily Prentiss:** What’s normal?

**Aaron Hotchner:** I give up. Do what you want.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Goodnight.

**Baby Girl:** is the big bad bossman gone

**JJ:** Yeah

**Baby Girl:** good

**Baby Girl:** he may have a point on one thing tho

**Emily Prentiss:** Which is?

**Baby Girl:** why were we all awake at 4 am on our day off ready to answer dereks question

**Spencer Reid:** For the plot.

**Baby Girl:** what-

**Spencer Reid:** What-


	23. Sometimes, I worry.

**(** [ **https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ** ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) **)**

**Wed, 7:34 PM**

**Spencer Reid:** Wait a minute.

**Spencer Reid:** I still have admin rights.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): What-

**Spencer Reid has named the chat ⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️**

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): REID WHAT THE HECK-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): WHAT IS ALL THAT

**David Rossi:** Sometimes, I worry.

**Baby Girl:** WHAT THE-

**Baby Girl:** I-

**Baby Girl:** AAKJSFKAFBEJAHEYFVAFV

**JJ:** SPENCE WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

**Emily Prentiss:** I don’t see a problem there

**Emily Prentiss:** That is greatness

**Aaron Hotchner:** That’s why there’s a problem.

**Emily Prentiss:** rUDE-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): HOTCH DO SOMETHING

**Aaron Hotchner:** What do you expect me to do?

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Uh-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): You also have admin rights-

**Aaron Hotchner:** You want me to wage another fight against Reid? He got admin rights the first time.

**Aaron Hotchner:** And broke into my room but I’ve moved on from that.

**David Rossi:** No, you haven’t.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Anyway.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m tired.

**Emily Prentiss:** You’re always tired.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I have a right to be.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Can’t you give one of us admin rights then?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Ha.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): ?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Oh, you were serious.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No offense, but the idea that two of you will have admin rights is more terrifying than just Reid having admin rights.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): …

**JJ:** …

**Emily Prentiss:** …

**David Rossi:** …

**Baby Girl:** …

**Spencer Reid:** Be honest, how many of you would 💥 smash💥 that 👍 like button👍 ?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid.


	24. Emily? Apologizing?

**(⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️ 💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Thurs, 7:45 PM**

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I’ve been thinking

**Emily Prentiss:** That isn’t good

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Ignoring that-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I’m gonna change my chat name again

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°) has gotten a little stale

**Emily Prentiss:** It was stale the moment you changed your name but go off

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): What did I ever do to you?

**Emily Prentiss:** You existed.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): (⊙_☉)

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): (▀ Ĺ̯▀ ̿)̄

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): <:::::::::::[]=¤(▀Ĺ̯▀ ̿)

**Aaron Hotchner:** Children. Behave.

**Emily Prentiss:** Fine.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): I did nothing but okay.

**David Rossi:** For the record, Emily totally won that fight.

**JJ:** Definitely.

**Baby Girl:** yep

**Aaron Hotchner:** I have to agree.

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Wow-

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): That’s how it is, huh?

**Spencer Reid:** Emily: 1 / Morgan: 0

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°): Okay.

**JJ:** Oh no

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( 👁️ ‿っ 👁️ ) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ͡°) **has changed their name to** ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ

**JJ:** Oh that’s not so bad

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: I was going to choose a weird one to torture you guys but the bear was so cute

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: It was calling to me-

**Baby Girl:** that is a cute bear i approve

**David Rossi:** It could’ve been worse.

**Emily Prentiss:** You know what that is cute and I apologize Derek

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Emily? Apologizing?

**Emily Prentiss:** Don’t push it lol

**Aaron Hotchner:** It’s actually calm in this chat for once.

**Spencer Reid:** ✌✌(➲ ᗜ ➲)✌✌

**Aaron Hotchner:** Nevermind.


	25. Yo listen up, here's the story

**(⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️ 💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Fri, 11:30 AM**

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Yo listen up, here's the story

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ:  About a little guy that lives in a blue world

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: And all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Like him, inside and outside

**Baby Girl:** Blue his house with a blue little window

**Baby Girl:** And a blue Corvette

**Baby Girl:** And everything is blue for him

**Baby Girl:** And himself and everybody around

**Baby Girl:** Cause he ain't got nobody to listen…

**Emily Prentiss:** I'm blue da ba dee da ba di

**Emily Prentiss:** Da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di

**Emily Prentiss:** Da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di

**JJ:** I'm blue da ba dee da ba di

**JJ:** I'm blue da ba dee da ba di

**JJ:** Da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di

**David Rossi:** I have a blue house with a blue window

**David Rossi:** Blue is the color of all that I wear

**David Rossi:** Blue are the streets and all the trees are too

**David Rossi:** I have a girlfriend and she is so blue

**Spencer Reid:** Blue are the people here that walk around

**Spencer Reid:** Blue like my Corvette, it's in and outside

**Spencer Reid:** Blue are the words I say and what I think

**Spencer Reid:** Blue are the feelings that live inside me

**Aaron Hotchner:** I'm blue da ba dee da ba di

**Aaron Hotchner:** Da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di

**Aaron Hotchner:** Da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: ONE MORE TIME HOTCH

**Emily Prentiss:** GET IT HOTCH

**David Rossi:** Aaron! Aaron! Aaron!

**Spencer Reid:** Hotch! Hotch! Hotch!

**JJ:** HOTCH! HOTCH! HOTCH!

**Aaron Hotchner:** …

**Aaron Hotchner:** I'm blue da ba dee da ba di

**Aaron Hotchner:** Da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di

**Aaron Hotchner:** Da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di

**Spencer Reid:** Good job, Dad. I’m so proud of you.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Get back to work.

**David Rossi:** The moment’s over.


	26. Where's the coffee pot?

**(⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Mon, 6:34 AM**

**Aaron Hotchner:** Where’s the coffee pot?

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: It’s too early for jokes, Hotch

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m not joking.

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Y-yes you are

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Because if not-

**Aaron Hotchner:** Exactly.

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Oh no

**Aaron Hotchner:** JJ?

**JJ:** I have no idea.

**JJ:** Is it too late to run?

**Aaron Hotchner:** He’s not here yet but I don’t know.

**Baby Girl:** we can all bunker down in the batcave bring snacks

**David Rossi:** Is this a prank?

**Aaron Hotchner:** I would never joke about something so serious, Dave.

**David Rossi:** I don’t know where it is.

**David Rossi:** I’m locking my office. May the fittest survive.

**Emily Prentiss:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND THE COFFEE POT

**Emily Prentiss:** YOU ALL REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME

**JJ:** SHSHSHSHHH WE DONT SPEAK OF LAST TIME

**Baby Girl:** I DONT KNOW IF ANY OF YOU HAVE NOTICED BUT HE IS STILL IN THE CHAT AND HES SILENT IM SCARED 

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: PENELOPE YOU SAID WE COULD BUNKER WITH YOU WHY IS YOUR DOOR LOCKED

**Baby Girl:** YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN

**Aaron Hotchner:** We can find this coffee pot, guys! Think! Where have we not looked?

**JJ:** OKAY IVE LOOKED UNDER EVERYONES DESKS

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: IVE SCOURED THE CONFERENCE ROOM

**David Rossi:** I can tell you it’s not in my office.

**Emily Prentiss:** I see how it is Rossi-

**Emily Prentiss:** ANYWAY ITS NOT IN JJ’S OLD OFFICE

**Aaron Hotchner:** It’s not in my office, either.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Garcia?

**Baby Girl:** ITS NOT HERE I SWEAR

**JJ:** ITS NOT IN ANY FILING CABINETS

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’VE SCOURED THE HALLWAY AND ASKED OTHER AGENTS NO ONE KNOWS

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: ITS NOT IN ANY OF THE KITCHENETTE CABINETS OR THE FRIDGE

**Emily Prentiss:** WHY WOULD IT BE IN THE FRIDGE

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: IM TRYING NOT TO DIE TODAY EMILY DO YOU HAVE ANY BETTER IDEAS

**Emily Prentiss:** KICK ROSSI’S DOOR DOWN? YOU’RE GOOD AT THAT

**David Rossi:** DON’T YOU DARE I’M SAFE IN HERE

**JJ:** HOTCH JUST RAN INTO HIS OFFICE

**JJ:** DID YOU LOCK THE DOOR?

**Aaron Hotchner:** YEAH

**JJ:** ALL OF YOU SUCK

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: WAIT JJ EMILY

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: WE CAN BARRICADE OURSELVES IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: OKAY OKAY WE’VE LOCKED AND BARRICADED BOTH ENTRANCES WITH SHELVES AND CHAIRS AND CLOSED THE BLINDS

**David Rossi:** MY DOOR IS LOCKED, WINDOWS ARE CLOSED, AND DESK IS PUSHED IN FRONT OF THE DOOR

**Aaron Hotchner:** DOOR IS LOCKED, WINDOWS CLOSED, CHAIRS AND TABLE PUSHED IN FRONT OF THE DOOR

**Baby Girl:** WHY ARE YOU ALL EXPLAINING YOUR PLANS OF ACTION HE CAN READ EVERYTHING HES STILL HERE

**Emily Prentiss:** OKAY BUT THIS TIME WE’RE PREPARED HE WON’T BE STRONG ENOUGH TO MOVE DESKS AND TABLES

**Baby Girl:** IM STILL SCARED IVE TURNED ALL MY COMPUTERS AND LIGHTS OFF AND LOCKED THE DOOR

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: EVERYONE JUST STAY QUIET HES STILL NOT HERE MAYBE ITLL ALL BE OKAY

**Aaron Hotchner:** I JUST WANT TO SAY IF WE DON’T GET OUT OF THIS IT WAS AN HONOR TO WORK WITH ALL OF YOU

**David Rossi:** LIKEWISE

**JJ:** AGREED

**Emily Prentiss:** DEFINITELY

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: SAME HERE HOTCH

**Baby Girl:** I LOVE ALL OF YOU

\--------

**(⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️💥SMASH💥 that 👍LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌BURDEN❌ for 💅EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️)**

**Mon, 7:03 AM**

**Baby Girl:** i heard an elevator ding…

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Don’t move Penelope

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Don’t even breathe

**Baby Girl:** i hear footsteps…

**Baby Girl:** theyre getting closer

**Baby Girl:** the doorknob is jiggling

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Penelope?

**Baby Girl:** I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUKLSNGJKLBRS

**JJ:** OH MY GOD

**Emily Prentiss:** THERE’S STILL 5 OF US WE CAN SURVIVE

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LISTEN FOR HIM

**Aaron Hotchner:** Footsteps.

**David Rossi:** Everyone be prepared.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Guys.

**Aaron Hotchner:** He’s right outside my door.

**Aaron Hotchner:** HE’S TOO STRONG IAKSHBFIEUBFSDF

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU HOTCH

**Emily Prentiss:** What do we do now?

**JJ:** Hope?

**David Rossi:** He’s here.

**David Rossi:** HOW IS HE SO STRONG

**David Rossi:** I AM SO PROUD OF YOU ALLAKLNFBADIGAEIGB

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: We are the last ones

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: It was nice knowing you

**Emily Prentiss:** Likewise

**JJ:** Wait

**JJ:** Do you hear that?

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: What?

**Emily Prentiss:** No?

**JJ:** Exactly.

**JJ:** Where is he?

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: He must be conflicted because there’s two entrances to the conference room

**Emily Prentiss:** We may be able to get out of here

**JJ:** So what’s the plan?

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Run like heck when he inevitably busts in here

**JJ:** Shshshsh listen

**JJ:** Footsteps

**JJ:** Coming from the front

**JJ:** HES TRYING TO FORCE HIS WAY IN MOVE THE SHELVES AND CHAIRS LETS GO

**Emily Prentiss:** OKAY WERE OUT

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: BUT WE ARE NOT QUIET HES JUMPED THE RAILING

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: HES COMING RIGHT FOR US

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: SAVE YOURSELVES

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: ASJFVAJSDGJAHSKF

**JJ:** DEREK NO

**Emily Prentiss:** JJ WE GOTTA GO OR WERE NEXT THE ELEVATOR IS COMING

**JJ:** OH MY NO HES SO FAST

**Emily Prentiss:** GET IN GET IN 

**JJ:** IM IN

**Emily Prentiss:** IM NOT I AM NOT

**Emily Prentiss:** GO WITHOUT ME SAVE YOURSELASJHVFAJSHFV

**JJ:** EMILY

**JJ:** DOORS CLOSE COME ON WORK YOU STUPID BUTTON

**JJ:** THE DOORS FINALLY CLOSED

**JJ:** HE JUST THREW HIS WHOLE BODY AGAINST THE DOORS AND TRIED TO PRY THEM OPEN

**JJ:** HE FAILED-

**JJ:** I GOT AWAY

**JJ:** WAIT

**JJ:** I GOT AWAY

**JJ:** NO ONE HAS EVER GOTTEN AWAY BEFORE-

**JJ:** GUYS

**JJ:** GUYS IS ANYONE THERE

**JJ:** IF YOURE READING THESE I HAVE A PLAN HOLD TIGHT


	27. Would you rather I had left you for dead?

**(⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Mon, 7:21 AM**

**Spencer Reid:** I would like to formally apologize.

**Baby Girl:** where am i?

**Aaron Hotchner:** You’re still in the office, Garcia.

**Aaron Hotchner:** JJ saved us.

**Emily Prentiss:** What a queen

**Emily Prentiss:** I honestly feared for my life when Reid grabbed me like-

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: I will never underestimate Reid’s strength again

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Pretty Boy’s got muscles

**David Rossi:** I’m sorry, are we all going to ignore the fact that Reid tried to literally kill us a few minutes ago?

**David Rossi:** Over coffee?

**Spencer Reid:** I said I was sorry.

**David Rossi:** I don’t take kindly to being taken.

**Spencer Reid:** Well, now you know how I feel.

**David Rossi:** Or threatened.

**David Rossi:** Or almost killed.

**Spencer Reid: (⊙…⊙ )**

**Baby Girl:** wait wait back up

**Baby Girl:** how did jj save us?

**Baby Girl:** what was this plan you spoke of that i am seeing as i scroll back?

**JJ:** I made a mad dash to the nearest Starbucks and told them to give me seven of their largest drinks with the most sugar

**JJ:** The barista looked at me like I was crazy

**JJ:** I ended up getting a venti salted caramel mocha, s’mores frappuccino, java chip frappuccino, pumpkin spice latte, cinnamon cloud macchiato, chestnut praline frappuccino, and a triple mocha frappuccino

**JJ:** They don’t offer what feels like any of those drinks anymore, it’s also not Autumn or Christmas, but that’s the perk of having an FBI badge

**Aaron Hotchner:** Did you threaten the employees, JJ?

**JJ:** Would you rather I had left you for dead?

**Aaron Hotchner:** …

**Aaron Hotchner:** You were saying?

**JJ:** Anyway-

**JJ:** I gathered all the drinks in the drink trays I had and made my way back here and up to the sixth floor and was mentally preparing myself for what I would find

**JJ:** I found all of you unconscious, as expected, but I couldn’t find Spence

**JJ:** Like, he was nowhere

**JJ:** I was in the bullpen, scared and alone, until I heard footsteps behind me

**JJ:** I slowly turned around and there he was

**JJ:** I only had a second before he started charging at me

**JJ:** I freaked and held the drinks out in front of me, yelling something about coffee, and he stopped and hesitated

**JJ:** Then he grabbed the trays out of my hands and ran away, returning a few minutes later with two drink trays full of empty cups

**JJ:** No words were exchanged as we gathered all of you in the bullpen waiting for you all to wake up

**JJ:** And here we are

**JJ:** He looked terrifying, like there was a monster there and Spence wasn’t

**JJ:** And then he came back looking sheepish with seven empty coffee cups

**Spencer Reid:** I prefer we don’t talk about this.

**David Rossi:** I prefer we do.

**Emily Prentiss:** You know what me too

**Aaron Hotchner:** I agree.

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Same

**Baby Girl:** mhmm

**Spencer Reid:** Uh-

**David Rossi:** I’m feeling a lot better, how about you guys?

**Emily Prentiss:** Yep.

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Oh yeah.

**Baby Girl:** definitely

**Aaron Hotchner:** Never felt better.

**Spencer Reid:** JJ?

**JJ:** Hmm?

**Spencer Reid:** Help?

**JJ:** Sorry Will’s calling I gotta take this-

**JJ:** But if I were you

**JJ:** I would run

**David Rossi:** He’s going for the elevator!

**JJ:** Oh this is going to be good


	28. If someone doesn’t respond to me I assume they’re dead and move on

**(⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Tues, 9:33 AM**

**Baby Girl:** old macdonald had a farm

**Baby Girl:** eieio

**Baby Girl:** and on the farm he had a ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ

**Baby Girl:** eieio

**Baby Girl:** with a ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ **/** ︵ ┻━┻ ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ **/** ︵ ┻━┻ here

**Baby Girl:** and a ┻━┻︵  **\** ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ ┻━┻︵  **\** ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ there

**Baby Girl:** here a ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ **/** ︵ ┻━┻

**Baby Girl:** there a ┻━┻︵  **\** ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ

**Baby Girl:** everywhere a ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ **/** ︵ ┻━┻ ┻━┻︵  **\** ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ

**Baby Girl:** old macdonald had a farm

**Baby Girl:** eieio

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Garcia?

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Why did you use the bear I used for my name?

**Baby Girl:** the bear represents you

**Baby Girl:** the bear flipping tables is you kicking down doors

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: That’s strangely flattering I-

**Baby Girl:** Thank you I try

**Aaron Hotchner:** Get back to work, Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** im boooorrrreeeedddd

**Baby Girl:** theres nothing to dooooooo

**Aaron Hotchner:** There’s work.

**Baby Girl:** o͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡╮༼;´༎ຶ.̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨.̸̸̨̨ ༎ຶ༽╭o͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Hotch: 1 / Garcia: 0

**Baby Girl:** SHUT UP-

**Emily Prentiss:** Look its Gerald

**Baby Girl:** i missed gerald i thought i would bring him back

**Baby Girl:** Apparently he loves me more than derek-

**Baby Girl:** no you know who loves me more than derek

**Baby Girl:** reid

**Baby Girl:** he brings me warm croissants

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: I-

**JJ:** You’ve got some competition now Morgan

**Emily Prentiss:** We love to see it

**Spencer Reid:** Don’t involve me in this. I have done nothing.

**Baby Girl:** too late

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: I have no idea how to respond

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Am I losing Garcia to Reid?

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: What is happening?

**Baby Girl:** dont worry im just really bored

**Baby Girl:** i like to start drama

**Emily Prentiss:** Same

**Emily Prentiss:** The best part is watching drama go down that doesn’t involve you

**Emily Prentiss:** Like this

**Spencer Reid:** I asked not to be a part of this.

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Too late Pretty Boy

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: We gotta fight now

**Spencer Reid:** Um.

**Emily Prentiss:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: I must capture the Avatar to regain my honor

**JJ:** ASDASUDJGJH SHUT UP MORGAN

**Aaron Hotchner:** Morgan.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No, all of you.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Get back to work.

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: No

**Aaron Hotchner:** The workday just started. You can’t be fighting me already.

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: Bet

**David Rossi:** Did anyone else hear a thud coming from Aaron’s office?

**Emily Prentiss:** Yep

**Spencer Reid:** He hit his head against his desk.

**JJ:** How do you know?

**Spencer Reid:** The blinds to his office are open.

**Spencer Reid:** He’s looking out here.

**Spencer Reid:** I’m going to wave at him.

**Spencer Reid:** You should all join me.

**David Rossi:** I’m in my office and can’t see this. What is happening?

**Baby Girl:** me neither spill the tea sis

**JJ:** Oof that’s a nasty mark on your head Hotch

**JJ:** You want some of my concealer?

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: He shut his blinds

**David Rossi:** I heard another thud.

**David Rossi:** And another.

**David Rossi:** And another.

**David Rossi:** You all broke Hotch again, didn’t you?

**Spencer Reid:** He’s banging his head against the wall, now.

**Spencer Reid:** He’s going to get a concussion.

**Emily Prentiss:** Should we stop him?

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

**Emily Prentiss:** Okay

**Emily Prentiss:** Donuts anyone?

**Baby Girl:** IM DOWN LET ME GO WITH YOU IM SO BOORREEEDDD

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: I’ll get coffee

**Spencer Reid:** I’m coming with you.

**JJ:** Rossi, you wanna leave too and do something that doesn’t contribute to our work at all?

**David Rossi:** I thought you’d never ask.

**David Rossi:** Bye, Aaron.

**David Rossi:** Aaron?

**David Rossi:** That’s mildly concerning.

**Emily Prentiss:** If someone doesn’t respond to me I assume they’re dead and move on

**David Rossi:** That is some great advice, Emily.

**Emily Prentiss:** Wait really?

**Emily Prentiss:** Now I’m second guessing myself what did I say

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: See you later Hotch


	29. 🎶 Will the real Aaron Hotchner please stand up?🎶

**(⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Fri, 3:47 PM**

**Emily Prentiss:** I just had the best worst idea ever

**Emily Prentiss has changed their name to Aaron Hotchner**

**Aaron Hotchner:** Wheels up in 30.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Oh, no.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Oh, yes.

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ **has changed their name to Aaron Hotchner**

**Aaron Hotchner:** I like the way you think, Emily.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I do not.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Thank you, fellow Hotch.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Please, no.

**Baby Girl has changed their name to Aaron Hotchner**

**Aaron Hotchner:** Ah, to text with proper grammar.

**Aaron Hotchner:** What an experience.

**David Rossi:** What in the world is going on here?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Hello, Dave.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Do you have any wine, Dave?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Don’t listen to them Dave. They’re not me.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Hotch is right. You should listen to me. I’m the real Hotch.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No, you’re not. I am.

**David Rossi:** I hate this a lot.

**David Rossi:** But, as they say-

**David Rossi has changed their name to Aaron Hotchner**

**Aaron Hotchner:** If you can’t beat them, join them.

**JJ:** I don’t know what’s happening here 

**JJ:** I’m so confused but I also can’t stop laughing

**Aaron Hotchner:** Become one of us, Jennifer.

**Aaron Hotchner:** One of us.

**Aaron Hotchner:** One of us.

**Aaron Hotchner:** One of us.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Please don’t do that.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Spare me.

**JJ:** What is this a cult lol

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’d be okay with that.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Might as well be.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Hotch will be our leader!

**Aaron Hotchner:** Yes.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

**Spencer Reid:** I leave you be for five minutes.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Don’t act like the parent, Reid.

**Spencer Reid:** I found Hotch.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Good one, Reid.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Ha, ha. Very funny.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m sorry to interrupt, but we have a case.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I need everyone at the round table in 10.

**JJ:** Really? I didn’t get any notice or anything

**Aaron Hotchner:** Nope.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’ve just always wanted to say that.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I feel powerful.

**JJ:** Let me guess

**JJ:** Garcia?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Yep.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Typing using punctuation and capitalization is weird.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No one texts like you, Baby Girl.

**Aaron Hotchner:** It’s one of the things I love about you.

**Spencer Reid:** I found Morgan.

**Aaron Hotchner:** What’s up, Pretty Boy?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Hey, Pretty Boy.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Ah, it’s my favorite Pretty Boy.

**Spencer Reid:** ༼⁰o⁰；༽

**Spencer Reid:** Nevermind.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I beg of you all to stop.

**JJ:** What do you think Spence?

**JJ:** Should we stop?

**Aaron Hotchner:** You two haven’t done anything. Please keep it that way.

**Spencer Reid:** Beggars can’t be choosers.

**Spencer Reid has changed their name to Aaron Hotchner**

**JJ has changed their name to Aaron Hotchner**

**Aaron Hotchner:** That’s it.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I quit.

**Aaron Hotchner:** My desk will be cleared out by the end of the week.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Don’t act like you’re Hotch when you’re not.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I could say the same to you.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Yet, I’m the real Hotch.

**Aaron Hotchner:** We all know the real Hotch is sitting with his head in his hands, ignoring us.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Maybe you’re the real Hotch saying that to throw us off.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Can we all be Hotch for a day?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Like a weird, early Halloween?

**Aaron Hotchner:** I found Reid.

**Aaron Hotchner:** But I’m Reid.

**Aaron Hotchner:** And I’m Emily.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Woah, woah, woah.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Take my name out of your mouth.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I know you are but what am I.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I have no idea.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Is the real Hotch even among us?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Yes, I am.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No, I’m not.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Freaky, man.

**Aaron Hotchner:** There’s Garcia.

**Aaron Hotchner:** You’ll never take me alive!

**Aaron Hotchner:** Weird. I’m Garcia.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m getting a headache.

**Aaron Hotchner:** That’s something the real Hotch would say.

**Aaron Hotchner:** We can’t trust anyone, though.

**Aaron Hotchner:** It doesn’t matter who I am for me to be getting a headache. This is very confusing.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Rossi?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Bold of you to assume you know my identity.

**Aaron Hotchner:** How about neither? I’m JJ.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Unlikely, but okay.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Wait a moment, you impostor. I’m JJ.

**Aaron Hotchner:** How can you call them an impostor when you’re trying to pass yourself off as Hotch?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Because I can.

**Aaron Hotchner:** You are certainly not JJ.

**Aaron Hotchner:** But I could be.

**Aaron Hotchner:** There is a one in seven chance any of us are telling the truth.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Do we believe each other?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Yeah, alright, Reid.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m bestselling author David Rossi.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Anyone want a signed book?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Shut up, “Rossi”.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Okay.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Maybe.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Seriously, does anyone else wonder if Hotch is messing with us by using our own joke against us?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Something tells me you’re the real Hotch.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m not.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I am.

**Aaron Hotchner:** This is so stupid.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I agree.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I disagree.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I haven’t had this much fun at work in a while.

**Aaron Hotchner:** We are all at work, texting each other when we could easily have a face to face conversation like normal people.

**Aaron Hotchner:** What will someone think if they see us?

**Aaron Hotchner:** We blame Emily.

**Aaron Hotchner:** For once, I will take blame.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Okay, Hotch. Thanks for volunteering,

**Aaron Hotchner:** Wait-

**Aaron Hotchner:** Oh, that was slick.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Well done Agent Prentiss/Hotchner.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Plot twist: It was Morgan.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No, I was the one who suggested we blame Emily.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Rude, but understandable.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’ve run out of Aspirin.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I have Tylenol if you need it, Random Hotch.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I need it.

**Aaron Hotchner:** But I need it.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’ve got a headache though.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Wait, who even offered the Tylenol?

**Aaron Hotchner:** I did. I’m JJ.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Lies. I’m JJ.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I saw Reid send that text, though.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Then which one am I?

**Aaron Hotchner:** How about I give everyone Tylenol?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Then you would reveal your identity.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I don’t care anymore.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Sounds like Rossi.

**Aaron Hotchner:** That must be Emily.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Why are we trying to profile each other like this?

**Aaron Hotchner:** That is an amazing question, Morgan.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m Morgan.

**Aaron Hotchner:** You’re Reid.

**Aaron Hotchner:** You’re not JJ.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m so tired.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Look, it’s Hotch!

**Aaron Hotchner:** I could be Hotch.

**Aaron Hotchner:** 🎶Will the real Aaron Hotchner please stand up?🎶

**Aaron Hotchner:** 🎶Please stand up?🎶

**Aaron Hotchner:** 🎶Please stand up?🎶

**Aaron Hotchner:** I don’t know who did that but I love you.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I bet that was Reid.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I thought it was Morgan.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I thought it was Garcia.

**Aaron Hotchner:** It was me.

**Aaron Hotchner:** That’s really helpful.

**Aaron Hotchner:** We’ve got to end this. This has been going on for too long.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Nah

**Aaron Hotchner:** Yeah

**Aaron Hotchner:** Definitely.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Impossible.

**Aaron Hotchner:** We need the real Hotch. We’ve lost all order.

**Aaron Hotchner:** What if Hotch started removing random Hotches and we figured out which one was which that way?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Because Reid has admin rights too.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Ha.

**Aaron Hotchner:** sǝɥɔʇoH

**Aaron Hotchner:** There’s Reid.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Or Garcia.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Alright.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Something has to be done.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I see everyone except Garcia is in the bullpen. That makes this easier.

**Aaron Hotchner has removed Aaron Hotchner from the chat**

**Aaron Hotchner:** Who did I just remove?

**Aaron Hotchner:** I didn’t think he would actually do it.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I-

**Aaron Hotchner:** You removed Rossi. He’s looking at his phone like something is wrong with it.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Alright.

**Aaron Hotchner has added Aaron Hotchner to the chat**

**Aaron Hotchner has changed their name to David Rossi**

**David Rossi:** Is it wrong to admit I had a lot of fun?

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Next.

**Aaron Hotchner has removed Aaron Hotchner from the chat**

**Aaron Hotchner:** Well?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Emily almost cursed. You removed her.

**Aaron Hotchner has added Aaron Hotchner to the chat**

**Aaron Hotchner has changed their name to Emily Prentiss**

**Emily Prentiss:** We should do that more often

**Aaron Hotchner:** How about no.

**Aaron Hotchner has removed Aaron Hotchner from the chat**

**Aaron Hotchner:** No discernable reaction.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Must be Garcia.

**Aaron Hotchner has added Aaron Hotchner to the chat**

**Aaron Hotchner has changed their name to** ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ

**Aaron Hotchner:** Garcia.

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: aww

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: thought i could get away with it

**Aaron Hotchner:** I love you too, Baby Girl.

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ: mmmmm

ﾟ+｡:.ﾟ✧ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ✧.:｡+ﾟ **has changed their name to Baby Girl**

**Baby Girl:** whos left?

**Aaron Hotchner:** JJ, Morgan, and Reid.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m trying to fish out JJ and Morgan since I can’t remove Reid.

**Aaron Hotchner:** That is correct.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I still wonder how he broke into Hotch’s room that night.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Anyway.

**Aaron Hotchner has removed Aaron Hotchner from the chat**

**Aaron Hotchner:** Bye, JJ.

**Aaron Hotchner:** It’s down to you and me, Pretty Boy.

**Aaron Hotchner:** ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ¤=[]:::::>

**Aaron Hotchner:** <:::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

**Aaron Hotchner:** I want to go home.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I can’t remove this one.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid. Give it up.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Funny. I can’t remove this one.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Which means…

**Aaron Hotchner has removed Aaron Hotchner from the chat**

**Emily Prentiss:** Morgan is not happy about that lol

**David Rossi:** Look at Reid giggling and smiling.

**David Rossi:** How cunning.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Well, all right then.

**Aaron Hotchner has added Aaron Hotchner to the chat**

**Aaron Hotchner has changed their name to** ✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: That was unfair

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I demand a rematch

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No matter how cute that dog is.

**Baby Girl:** hes right that is a cute dog

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid. Come on.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Give up.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I don’t know what you’re talking about.

**Emily Prentiss:** The final showdown

**Emily Prentiss:** Both admins with the same name

**Emily Prentiss:** One of them is an impostor

**Emily Prentiss:** Will he reveal his true self?

**Emily Prentiss:** Find out next Friday, 6 pm central time on CBS

**Aaron Hotchner:** Prentiss.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Prentiss.

**Emily Prentiss:** Wow Reid is good

**Aaron Hotchner:** What will it take for you to surrender?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Let me think.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: It’s dangerous when Reid thinks

**Aaron Hotchner:** I want coffee hand delivered to me every morning.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I want an office.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I want to be able to practice my physics magic and pranks whenever I please.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Fine.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’ll allow it as long as you don’t hurt anyone.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Deal.

**Aaron Hotchner:** 🏳🏳️🏳️

**Aaron Hotchner has changed their name to Spencer Reid**

**Spencer Reid:** None of you are ready.

**JJ:** Okay

**JJ:** That was really fun

**JJ:** If not confusing

**JJ:** But can we please never do that again

**Emily Prentiss:** Depends if it gets boring around here

**Emily Prentiss:** We also all share one brain cell so-

**Baby Girl:** correction:

**Baby Girl:** reid has 9/10 of the brain cell

**Baby Girl:** the rest of us share the 1/10

**Spencer Reid:** Is that one tenth where learning how to process social situations and cues went?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Reid.

**JJ:** Spence-

**Spencer Reid:** I will be showing myself out.


	30. And I, uh, I stabbed him 37 times in the chest.

**(⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Wed, 3:56 AM**

**JJ:** Carl! There is a dead human in our house!

**Emily Prentiss:** Oh, hey, how did he get here?

**JJ:** Caaaarl, what did you do?

**Emily Prentiss:** Me? Uh, I didn’t do this!

**JJ:** Explain what happened, Carl!

**Emily Prentiss:** I’ve never seen him before in my life.

**JJ:** Why did you kill this person, Carl?

**Emily Prentiss:** I do not kill people. That is- that is my l e a s t favorite thing to do.

**JJ:** Tell me, Carl, exactly what you were doing before I got home.

**Emily Prentiss:** Alright, well, I- I was upstairs.

**JJ:** Okay.

**Emily Prentiss:** I was, uh, I was sitting in my room,

**JJ:** Yes.

**Emily Prentiss:** Reading a book,

**JJ:** Go on.

**Emily Prentiss:** And uh, well, this guy walked in.

**JJ:** Okay.

**Emily Prentiss:** So I went up to him,

**JJ:** Yes.

**Emily Prentiss:** And I, uh, I stabbed him 37 times in the chest.

**JJ:** …

**JJ:** Caaaaarrrrlll, that kills people!

**Emily Prentiss:** Oh, oh. Wow.

**JJ:** Carl!

**Emily Prentiss:** I didn’t know that.

**JJ:** How could you not know that?

**Emily Prentiss:** Yeah, I’m in the wrong here. I suck.

**JJ:** What happened to his hands?

**Emily Prentiss:** What’s that?

**JJ:** His hands. Why- why are they missing?

**Emily Prentiss:** Well, I kind of, uh, cooked them up. And ate them.

**JJ:** Caaarl.

**Emily Prentiss:** Well, I- I was hungry, and, well, you know, when- when you crave hands-

**JJ:** Why on Earth would you do that?

**Emily Prentiss:** I was hungry for hands! Give me a break!

**JJ:** Caaaarrrrrrrllllll.

**Emily Prentiss:** My stomach was making the rumblies-

**JJ:** Carl.

**Emily Prentiss:** That only hands would satisfy.

**JJ:** What is wrong with you, Carl?

**Emily Prentiss:** Well, I- I kill people and I eat hands. That’s two things.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Wow-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Um-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Okay-

**Spencer Reid:** Have either of you noticed how Carl says in the second Llamas With Hats that forgiveness sounds like screaming and then silence?

**Spencer Reid:** And then in the twelfth one when Carl jumps off a bridge he’s screaming and then he goes silent?

**Spencer Reid:** So by that logic Paul forgives him?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Reid.

**Baby Girl:** OH MY GOD HE KNOWS LLAMAS WITH HATS

**Baby Girl:** AND OH MY GOD HE THINKS SO DEEPLY ABOUT IT

**Emily Prentiss:** I did not expect that-

**Emily Prentiss:** But I am not unhappy about it-

**JJ:** When Henry showed me that series I was deeply disturbed but then I cried?

**JJ:** It was really weird

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: What are you guys talking about-

**Spencer Reid:** Llamas With Hats.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Yeah no I got that-

**Aaron Hotchner:** Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.

**Aaron Hotchner:** It didn’t work.

**Aaron Hotchner:** You’re all still here.

**Baby Girl:** ASDHJABSHF

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Hotch

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: You know what this llamas with hats thing is

**Aaron Hotchner:** Yes.

**Aaron Hotchner:** It’s weird.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I don’t talk about it.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I-

**Emily Prentiss:** What was your favorite thing Carl did?

**Emily Prentiss:** I liked when he sunk the cruise ship in the second one

**Spencer Reid:** The crack in space time because it’s so scientifically impossible it’s funny.

**JJ:** Gotta go with the classic stabbing 37 times in the chest and then eating the hands

**Baby Girl:** either the toppling of a south american government or the meat dragon

**Baby Girl:** i cant decide

**David Rossi:** You’re all cowards who went with something while Carl was sane.

**David Rossi:** The gore pit when he effectively lost his mind was my favorite.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WHAT-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I CANNOT COMPREHEND-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: THIS CONVERSATION-

**JJ:** Just watch the series

**JJ:** It’s just 12 short videos that are like 1 to 3 minutes long

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I think I’m good

**Aaron Hotchner:** Smart. Don’t make my mistake.

**Emily Prentiss:** Boooooo

**JJ:** Boooooo

**Baby Girl:** booooo

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: This is where I take my leave before someone Pauls me

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Goodnight

**Emily Prentiss:** Did-

**Emily Prentiss:** Did he just use Paul as a verb-

**Emily Prentiss:** That’s the wrong llama Derek

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Like I care leave me alone Im trying to sleep-

**Spencer Reid:** Boooooo.

**Spencer Reid:** 👎👎👎

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: sHUT UP REID-

**JJ:** Spence: 1 / Morgan: 0

**JJ:** If that even is the score I don’t remember-

**JJ:** There have been so many fights and scores I can’t keep track-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧ **:** Don’t worry about it

**JJ:** You say that because you’ve lost a lot

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: It hurts because it’s true-


	31. If you or a loved one was diagnosed with Mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

**(⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Sun, 12:01 AM**

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: If you or a loved one was diagnosed with Mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation. Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos exposure. Exposure to asbestos in the navy, shipyards, mills, heating, construction, or the automotive industries may have put you at risk. Please don’t wait. Call 1-800-99 LAW USA for a free legal consultation & financial information packet. Mesothelioma patients call now! 1-800-99 LAW USA.

**JJ:** To keep me from going cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, I’m going to lock them in this- chocolatey safe? Cocoa Puffs turns everything chocolatey! Don’t go cuckoo. Whew- wait a minute. Tt’s Cocoa Puffs! Don’t go cuckoo. Whew- Cocoa Puffs! They’re chocolatey! I give up! I’m cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs! Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs! Cocoa Puffs turns everything chocolatey, even the milk. There’s no escaping chocolatey Cocoa Puffs. Part of your good breakfast.

**Baby Girl:** What's that pair that packs that punch? The unique taste, so creamy with a crunch. P and B and C is what I'm thinking of and it only can be found in my Reese's Puffs! Peanut butter chocolate, great when separate, but when they combine, they make the morning time epic, morning time epic, morning time epic! R Double E S E S Yes! P to the U double Reese's Puffs!

**Emily Prentiss:** This Disney DVD is enhanced with Disney’s FastPlay. Your movie and a selection of bonus features will begin automatically. To bypass FastPlay, select the main menu button at any time. FastPlay will begin in a moment.

**Spencer Reid:** Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? Let’s find out. A one, a two, a three- *CRUNCH* How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? The world may never know.

**David Rossi:** What are you idiots doing?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Reliving our childhoods

**David Rossi:** None of you are remotely close to being 2000’s kids.

**Spencer Reid:** Don’t I count?

**David Rossi:** No.

**Spencer Reid:** ╰༼=ಠਊಠ=༽╯

**Spencer Rossi:** Dad, other Dad is being mean to me.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Oh, my goodness.

**David Rossi:** I’m going to bed.

**David Rossi:** Don’t bother me.

**Emily Prentiss:** Goodnight Dad

**Spencer Reid:** Sleep tight, Dad.

**Baby Girl:** dont let the bedbugs bite dad

**David Rossi:** I’m ignoring all of you.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Speaking of ignoring-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Emily ignored the commercial theme of our ~n o s t a l g i a~

**Emily Prentiss:** The only commercial that came to mind was Jake from State Farm but I couldn’t remember exactly how it went

**Emily Prentiss:** Only khakis

**Emily Prentiss:** Besides

**Emily Prentiss:** Pardon me for not having 2000s commercials on the top of my head at midnight after you woke me up

**Spencer Reid:** Emily: 2 / Morgan: 0

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Shut up Reid

**Aaron Hotchner:** May I ask, why 2000s nostalgia?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Why not?

**JJ:** The 2000s were a weird time

**Aaron Hotchner:** I hate when I can’t argue with you.

**Spencer Reid:** Dad, can we get Kid Cuisine?

**Aaron Hotchner:** What in the world did you just ask me.

**Baby Girl:** dad i need silly bandz mine broke

**Aaron Hotchner:** What is happening.

**Emily Prentiss:** Dad I want an easy bake oven for Christmas

**Aaron Hotchner:** No. To all of you. I’m going to bed with another regret weighing heavy on my heart. Don’t bother me. Goodnight.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧ **:** Goodnight, Dad.

**JJ:** Sleep tight Dad

**Baby Girl:** dont let the bedbugs bite dad


	32. You really gonna get snappy at me when you’re hiding from devil children?

**(⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Sat, 7:07 PM**

**Spencer Reid:** JJ. Hotch. Someone. I don’t care. Help.

**Baby Girl:**?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: What’s going down, kid?

**Spencer Reid:** JJ is an evil genius.

**Emily Prentiss:** We been knew

**David Rossi:** What’s going on?

**Spencer Reid:** JJ asked me to babysit Henry and Michael tonight.

**Spencer Reid:** Of course I agreed. I had planned to show them new magic tricks.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: As you do

**Spencer Reid:** She left out the fact they were having a sleepover with Jack.

**Baby Girl:** And why is that bad?

**Spencer Reid:** They’re on an intense sugar high.

**Spencer Reid:** And won’t calm down.

**Spencer Reid:** Everytime they appear one of them has more sugar in their hand.

**Spencer Reid:** Where did Henry get double stuffed oreos?

**JJ:** Probably the pantry

**Spencer Reid:** How do I stop this?

**JJ:** You don’t.

**Aaron Hotchner:** You don’t.

**Spencer Reid:** I hate both of you.

**Spencer Reid:** Wait.

**Spencer Reid:** It’s quiet.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Does that mean they calmed down?

**Spencer Reid:** No. It means I am about to be running for my life when they find me.

**Emily Prentiss:** When they find you?

**David Rossi:** Are you playing hide and seek?

**Spencer Reid:** You would think.

**JJ:** Good luck with them, Spence

**Emily Prentiss:** I know I said we been knew

**Emily Prentiss:** But you really can be an evil genius JJ

**Spencer Reid:** What did I ever do to you?

**JJ:** Last time you babysat YOU got them on a sugar high and then Will and I had to deal with them.

**Aaron Hotchner:** You never did anything to me but when JJ came to me with her plan I couldn’t resist.

**David Rossi:** So you willingly gave up your son for an evil plot?

**Aaron Hotchner:** You say that like I shouldn’t be proud.

**Emily Prentiss:** I-

**Emily Prentiss:** Hotch can be evil himself

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m not a genius?

**Emily Prentiss:** Was this ~your~ plan?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Emily: 1 / Hotch: 0

**Spencer Reid:** Jack just yelled that he found cotton candy

**Spencer Reid:** JJ, why?

**JJ:** Why not?

**Baby Girl:** remind me not to cross you jayje

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Wait Reid

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Where are you hiding?

**Spencer Reid:** I prefer not to disclose this information.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Are you under the bed?

**Spencer Reid:** Definitely not.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: You’re under the bed

**JJ:** You’re under my bed?

**Spencer Reid:** Don’t worry about it.

**Spencer Reid:** Now they have donuts?

**Spencer Reid:** Are you trying to kill me, JJ?

**JJ:** No.

**JJ:** Definitely not.

**Spencer Reid:** I hear footsteps.

**Spencer Reid:** From tiny feet.

**Spencer Reid:** Why are they singing-

**JJ:** That’s new

**Spencer Reid:** I take it back. They’re not singing. They’re shrieking.

**JJ:** That’s to be expected

**Spencer Reid:** They’re getting closer.

**Spencer Reid:** I swear, if I get taken by three kids-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I can see it happening

**Emily Prentiss:** Yeah me too

**David Rossi:** Three kids on a sugar high vs. Reid?

**David Rossi:** The winners are clear.

**Spencer Reid:** Wow.

**Spencer Reid:** I thought I had friends.

**JJ:** You have me

**Aaron Hotchner:** And me.

**Baby Girl:** what about me?

**Spencer Reid:** I stand corrected.

**Spencer Reid:** I have Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** WOO HOO

**JJ:** Hey-

**Aaron Hotchner:** Rude.

**Spencer Reid:** Garcia didn’t trick me into babysitting children for an evil plan.

**JJ:** Fair enough

**Aaron Hotchner:** Technically I didn’t.

**Spencer Reid:** (눈_눈)

**David Rossi:** Even hiding under a bed he still has time to send those ridiculous faces.

**Spencer Reid:** They’re called emoticons, David.

**David Rossi:** You really gonna get snappy at me when you’re hiding from devil children?

**JJ:** Don’t insult Henry like that

**Emily Prentiss:** LMAOOOO

**Baby Girl:** HAHAHAHA

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Hotch? You gonna take that?

**Aaron Hotchner:** Yeah.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I give up

**Emily Prentiss:** Can I have your kids then?

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

**JJ:** Sorry but no

**Emily Prentiss:** Worth a shot

**Spencer Reid:** So the door just slammed open.

**Spencer Reid:** They found me.

**Spencer Reid:** It was nice knowing all of you.

**David Rossi:** He’s so calm in the face of death.

**JJ:** Welp-

**Spencer Reid:** qebfhdhz

**Spencer Reid:** afbASFHBJ

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Is he really fighting children-

**Spencer Reid:** ASFVAHJSFYAEJ

**Spencer Reid:** who is this

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Did he really lose to children-

**Emily Prentiss:** I mean we can’t say we didn’t see this coming

**Spencer Reid:** wow Uncle Spencer is really popular

**JJ:** Michael?

**Spencer Reid:** oh

**Spencer Reid:** HI MOM

**Spencer Reid:** I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING WRONG

**Baby Girl:** i just snorted so hard i hurt my throat

**JJ:** How did you take Uncle Spencer’s phone, Michael?

**Spencer Reid:** uhhhh

**Spencer Reid:** im not Michael

**Spencer Reid:** im Henry

**Spencer Reid:** dont focus on me

**Spencer Reid:** focus on the guy with the weird name that isnt even a name

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: You listen here kid-

**Spencer Reid:** woah it talks

**Emily Prentiss:** I LOVE THIS KID

**David Rossi:** Morgan: 0 / A tiny child: 1

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: SHUT UP

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ARE WE FORGETTING REID WAS OVERPOWERED BY 3 KIDS

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

**Aaron Hotchner:** It’s just that it took three kids to beat Reid and one to beat you.

**Emily Prentiss:** LMFAOOOOOO

**Baby Girl:** THE KING AARON HOTCHNER IS TODAY

**JJ:** I JUST GASPED SO VIOLENTLY IM COUGHING-

**David Rossi:** Hotch: 1 / Morgan: -1

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WHY IS MY SCORE NEGATIVE

**David Rossi:** Hotch’s attack was so powerful you lost health even after death.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING ROSSI THIS ISNT A GAME

**David Rossi:** I don’t make the rules. I only state facts.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I HATE ALL OF YOU

**Spencer Reid:** I like you people

**JJ:** Michael these people are mine and Uncle Spencer’s colleagues

**JJ:** Can you give him his phone back so we can talk to him?

**Spencer Reid:** Sure 1 second

**JJ:** Wow I didn’t expect it to be that easy

**Spencer Reid:** WASSUP

**Spencer Reid:** WHATS HAPPENING

**Spencer Reid:** WHATS GOOD

**JJ:** That’s because it never is-

**Aaron Hotchner:** Jack?

**Spencer Reid:** DAD

**Spencer Reid:** WHAT

**Spencer Reid:** WAIT I MEAN

**Spencer Reid:** My name is Henry LaMontagne.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Nice try, kid.

**Spencer Reid:** WHATEVER I DONT CARE IF IM IN TROUBLE

**Spencer Reid:** THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST SLEEPOVER EVER

**Aaron Hotchner:** How so?

**Spencer Reid:** NOPE IM NOT FALLING FOR THAT 

**Aaron Hotchner:** Will you at least tell me how you got Reid’s phone?

**David Rossi:** I take it that’s a no.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Okay but should we be concerned at all that Reid has not gotten his phone back from 3 kids?

**Spencer Reid:** No

**Spencer Reid:** No you shouldnt

**JJ:** Let me guess

**JJ:** Henry?

**Spencer Reid:** No

**Spencer Reid:** Maybe

**Spencer Reid:** Yes

**Spencer Reid:** Howd you know

**JJ:** Process of elimination

**Spencer Reid:** Huh

**Spencer Reid:** Actually I dont care

**Spencer Reid:** Anyway thanks for all the desserts mom

**Spencer Reid:** They were really good

**JJ:** How much did you eat?

**Spencer Reid:** …

**Spencer Reid:** A lot

**Spencer Reid:** But Michael and Jack had more than me

**JJ:** That’s okay

**JJ:** Are you having fun with Uncle Spencer?

**Spencer Reid:** Is that a trick question

**Emily Prentiss:** Smart kid

**Spencer Reid:** Thank you

**JJ:** Will you at least tell me how you got his phone?

**Spencer Reid:** Uhhhhh

**Spencer Reid:** We kinda

**Spencer Reid:** Tickled him

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I’m sorry what-

**Spencer Reid:** We tickled him mr. dog face

**Spencer Reid:** In fact Jack and Michael are still tickling him

**Emily Prentiss:** Hmm

**Emily Prentiss:** This is information I didn’t know I needed until now

**JJ:** So you subdued him by tickling him

**Spencer Reid:** Uh

**Spencer Reid:** Yeah?

**JJ:** I am so proud

**Spencer Reid:** What?

**JJ:** I said what I said

**JJ:** Will you give him his phone back?

**JJ:** I’d like to talk to him

**Spencer Reid:** Yeah sure

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: So Pretty Boy is ticklish

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Interesting

**Emily Prentiss:** Yes

**Emily Prentiss:** Interesting indeed

**Spencer Reid:** It is definitely not interesting.

**Baby Girl:** HE LIVES

**Spencer Reid:** No I’m not.

**Spencer Reid:** My head is spinning and my lungs are heaving.

**Spencer Reid:** Your children are evil.

**JJ:** They get it from Will

**Spencer Reid:** No they don’t.

**David Rossi:** No they don’t.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No they don’t.

**JJ:** Says the man who gave his son up for this plot

**Aaron Hotchner:** Says the woman who came up with the plot

**Emily Prentiss:** We get it you’re both evil

**Spencer Reid:** When do you come home, JJ?

**JJ:** Idk

**Spencer Reid:** What-

**Baby Girl:** oop-

**JJ:** Yeah it’s just that Will and I are having a good time and don’t want to disrupt your fun or the sleepover

**JJ:** We will probably be back tomorrow.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Wow

**Aaron Hotchner:** Okay. I see why JJ is the evil genius.

**Spencer Reid:** My blood is on your hands.

**JJ:** Yep

**JJ:** Have fun

**Spencer Reid:** Wait-

**Spencer Reid:** They used the time I was texting to find more sugar.

**Spencer Reid:** I am now running.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: My time of working you for the fit test is paying off

**Spencer Reid:** No it’s not. I’m dying.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I’m just hearing that we need to run more

**Spencer Reid:** Never.

**JJ:** You have fun Spence

**JJ:** Byeeee~

**Spencer Reid:** ( ་ ⍸ ་ )

**Spencer Reid:** News flash: JJ is a fake friend.

**Emily Prentiss:** We been knew

  
**JJ:** Rude-


	33. NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW

**(⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Tues, 2:12 PM**

**Baby Girl:** DEREK MORGAN DONT YOU DARE

**Baby Girl:** I CAN'T TAKE THIS BLOW TO MY DIGNITY

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: YOU SHOULDVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE I WALKED INTO WHATEVER T H A T WAS

**Baby Girl:** I DIDNT MEAN TO I WAS IN THE WRONG FOLDER

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: THERES A RIGHT FOLDER?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: YOU HAVE A FOLDER OF T H A T ???

**Baby Girl:** IM HERE ALONE AND BORED A LOT

**Baby Girl:** SOMETIMES I NEED A BREAK FROM THE HORRORS OR DEATH

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I THOUGHT THAT BREAK WAS PICTURES OF PUPPIES OR PANDAS

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: NOT THAT

**Baby Girl:** LEAVE ME ALONE

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: NO YOULL JUST MAKE MORE

**Baby Girl:** NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: LOOK HOW THAT TURNED OUT I KNOW NOW

**Aaron Hotchner:** What is going on here?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Ah

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Hotch

**Baby Girl:** NO

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Just the man I wanted to see

**Baby Girl:** DEREK PLEASE NO

**Baby Girl:** I LIKE MY JOB AND MY REPUTATION

**David Rossi:** What reputation?

**Baby Girl:** NORMALLY I WOULD BITE BACK BUT IM TRYING TO SAVE MYSELF HERE DAVID-

**JJ:** What did you do to make yourself so panicked-

**Baby Girl:** dont worry about it

**Baby Girl:** no one needs to know-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: YOURE FORGETTING I KNOW GARCIA

**Baby Girl:** SHSHSHSHSHHH

**Baby Girl:** SHUT UP

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I WILL NOT

**Aaron Hotchner:** Will someone tell me what’s going on or do I have to barge into Garcia’s office?

**Baby Girl:** YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT HAVE TO DO THAT SIR

**Aaron Hotchner:** Then what’s going on?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: GARCIA MAKES FANFICTION AND FANART OF US

**JJ:** Did anyone else hear that loud thud from Hotch’s office?

**Emily Prentiss:** Yeah

**Spencer Reid:** He dropped his head on his desk again.

**David Rossi:** Please, do not tell us more, Morgan.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: You know I must.

**Baby Girl:** NO YOU DONT

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I had just walked into her batcave cause you know its lunchtime and I wanted to chill

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: THAT WAS A MISTAKE

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: CAUSE THERE SHE WAS WITH TWO TABS OPEN

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ONE WAS A STORY WITH OUR NAMES REPEATEDLY POPPING UP

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: THEN I SAW PHOTOSHOP OPEN

**Baby Girl:** I BEG OF THEE

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: SHE WAS EDITING A PICTURE OF ME WITH CHAPS ON

**Emily Prentiss:** LMAOOO

**Spencer Reid:** What was the story about?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I saw Emily’s name for sure but couldn’t tell in what context

**Emily Prentiss:** oH?

**Baby Girl:** LET ME LIVE

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: All I know is you had a crush on someone

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: IF IT WAS ONE OF US I SWEAR

**Baby Girl:** LISTEN

**Baby Girl:** I WAS GONNA TAKE THIS TO MY GRAVE

**Emily Prentiss:** WELL YOU ARENT

**Emily Prentiss:** WHAT ARE YOU WRITING ABOUT ME I WANNA READ IT

**Baby Girl:** …

**Baby Girl:** UM

**Baby Girl:** ANGST?

**Emily Prentiss:** GO ON

**Baby Girl:** YOURE NEVER GONNA LET THIS GO IF I DONT TELL YOU ARE YOU

**Emily Prentiss:** NOPE

**Baby Girl:** FINE

**Baby Girl:** YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BE

**Baby Girl:** UH

**Baby Girl:** IN LOVE WITH JJ??

**Baby Girl:** BUT JJ IS WITH WILL AND DOESNT KNOW SHES IN LOVE WITH YOU

**JJ:** I JUST SPILLED MY COFFEE

**Emily Prentiss:** OH MY GOD ASHFAHJDVFAJEF

**Emily Prentiss:** I AM SHOOKETH

**Aaron Hotchner:** Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET

**Baby Girl:** I BLAME DEREK

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: IM NOT THE ONE WRITING FANFICTION ABOUT THEIR FRIENDS

**Baby Girl:** SHUT UP-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: HAVE YOU WRITTEN ANY ABOUT ME?

**Baby Girl:** ASHFKASFBHASFKHD

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: OH MY GOD ABOUT WHAT

**Baby Girl:** NOTHING LEAVE ME ALONE IVE LOST ENOUGH DIGNITY FOR ONE DAY

**David Rossi:** You have dignity?

**Baby Girl:** OH MY GOD-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Rossi: 1 / Garcia: 0

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: NOW TELL ME WHAT YOUVE WRITTEN ABOUT ME

**Baby Girl:** UM-

**Baby Girl:** UH-

**Baby Girl:** REID IS IN LOVE WITH YOU BUT YOURE DAFT AND DONT RECOGNIZE YOUR TRUE FEELINGS-

**Baby Girl has left the chat**

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I-

**Spencer Reid:** I-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: NO SHE CAN'T JUST LEAVE LIKE THAT-

**Spencer Reid:** I’m on it.

**Aaron Hotchner:** No, wait.

**Aaron Hotchner:** Can’t we have a moment of peace?

**Spencer Reid has added Baby Girl to the chat**

**Spencer Reid:** No.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WHERE DO YOU THINK YOURE GOING GARCIA

**Baby Girl:** I DONT KNOW I PANICKED-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE HIDDEN IN YOUR FOLDER OF SECRETS

**Baby Girl:** CANT THEY JUST STAY SECRETS

**JJ:** Compromise

**JJ:** Tell us 3 more things and we will let you go

**JJ:** Because I am intrigued

**Emily Prentiss:** Me too

**David Rossi:** I’m not.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I need a drink.

**Baby Girl:** deal

**Aaron Hotchner:** Please, no.

**Baby Girl:** i never thought i would be revealing this to you

**Baby Girl:** i gotta do it fast like ripping off a bandaid

**David Rossi:** Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** THEN I REMEMBER WHO ALL IS HERE AND I WANT TO DIE AGAIN

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Use the wise words of Mako

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: It’s like ripping off a bloodsucking leech

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Just get it over with

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Or something like that

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: He used it in the context of breaking up with a girlfriend

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: So I’ve used that advice many a time

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Heh

**Emily Prentiss:** Morgan stop being a womanizer for 2 seconds and let Garcia expose herself

**Emily Prentiss:** Also who the heck is Mako

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: From Legend of Korra

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: People say that show isn’t as good as Avatar

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: But I dont care

**Emily Prentiss:** I regret asking

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Its entertaining and shows that Korra is a different person than Aang and will face her own struggles and problems to solve

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: She had the elements down but had to work on her spiritual connection while Aang had the spirit thing down but elements were a big oof

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Just because Korra is a reincarnation of Aang doesnt mean theyre the same person nor that one is better than the other

**Emily Prentiss:** MORGAN SHUT UP

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: You wanted to know who Mako was

**Emily Prentiss:** BUT YOU DIDNT EVEN TELL ME NOW THE TIME HAS PASSED

**Emily Prentiss:** Spill Garcia

**Baby Girl:** dang thought i could get away while derek was rambling-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: AVATAR AND KORRA ARE QUALITY SHOWS FIGHT ME

**JJ:** For kids

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: YES AND ADULTS

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: BASICALLY IF YOU HAVE EYES THOSE SHOWS ARE FOR YOU

**JJ:** Anyway-

**JJ:** Garcia-

**Baby Girl:** okay fine-

**Baby Girl:** 1\. A superpower au where everyone has a different power and its specifically a superpower au because you are all already heroes

**Baby Girl:** the best part was a certain someone used their ice powers to have a snowball fight in the office

**Emily Prentiss:** Ooh I like that

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I better have super strength

**Baby Girl:** maybe maybe not

**Baby Girl:** anyway-

**Baby Girl:** 2\. A hogwarts au but i didnt factor in age differences so youre all about the same age

**Baby Girl:** i think my favorite part was derek messed up a spell and cast an anti gravity spell on our beloved bossman

**JJ:** LMAOOO

**Spencer Reid:** I like that idea.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Why am I the one who sucks-

**Emily Prentiss:** What house are we in

**Baby Girl:** oh okay

**Baby Girl:** gryffindor: bossman, derek

hufflepuff: me, jj

ravenclaw: boy wonder

slytherin: emily, rossi

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Wow

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: That’s actually really accurate

**Emily Prentiss:** Why am I a Slytherin?

**David Rossi:** Why am I a Slytherin?

**JJ:** Woah-

**Emily Prentiss:** Nevermind-

**David Rossi:** Nevermind-

**Aaron Hotchner:** Oh.

**Emily Prentiss:** Stop that.

**David Rossi:** Stop that.

**JJ:** What is happening

**Emily Prentiss:** I blame Garcia.

**David Rossi:** I blame Garcia.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: LMAOOOO

**Baby Girl:** HOW IS THAT MY FAULT

**Spencer Reid:** They’re the true Slytherins.

**Emily Prentiss:** I’m not a Slytherin.

**David Rossi:** I’m not a Slytherin.

**Spencer Reid:** Says the Slytherins.

**JJ:** Before the Slytherins fight us-

**Emily Prentiss:** Rude-

**David Rossi:** Rude-

**JJ:** Whats the last thing Garcia?

**Baby Girl:** uuuhhhhhhh

**Baby Girl:** oh

**Baby Girl:** 3\. i wrote a story where hotch and reid are a team of unsubs and you all hunt them

**Aaron Hotchner:** Garcia.

**Spencer Reid:** Oh-

**Baby Girl:** ill be going now-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Wait

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Why

**Baby Girl:** i-

**Baby Girl:** i think i was thinking what would it be like if we had to hunt one or two of our own?

**Baby Girl:** idk

**Baby Girl:** i just write what comes to mind

**Aaron Hotchner:** How does Reid and I being unsubs just come to your mind?

**Baby Girl:** listen-

**Baby Girl has left the chat**

**Aaron Hotchner:** She knows I can just come into her office, right?

**Emily Prentiss:** What if we all stormed her batcave and read her stories and looked at her photoshopped pictures of us?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I’m in

**David Rossi:** I’m not.

**JJ:** I’ll do it why not

**Spencer Reid:** I’ll sit this one out.

**Aaron Hotchner:** I’m in.

**Spencer Reid:** ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

**Emily Prentiss:** ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

**JJ:** ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

**David Rossi:** ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

**Aaron Hotchner:** Just shut up and accept it before I change my mind.

**Emily Prentiss:** You’re intrigued by the unsub story aren't you

**Aaron Hotchner:** No.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Yes you are

**Aaron Hotchner:** Shut up.

**David Rossi:** Looks like it’s just you and me left, kid.

**Spencer Reid:** ☆~~ヾ(>▽<)ﾉ｡･☆

**David Rossi:** Looks like it’s just you, kid.

**Spencer Reid:** Wait what?

**Spencer Reid:** Hello?

**Spencer Reid:** Other Dad?

**Spencer Reid has added Baby Girl to the chat**

**Spencer Reid:** Garcia?

**Spencer Reid:** Are you alive?

**Baby Girl:** penelope cant come to the phone right now shes busy dying from embarrassment-

**Baby Girl:** so no

**Baby Girl:** i am not-


	34. HE LOVES US AND LOVES BEING OUR DAD

**(⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Wed, 1:54 AM**

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: some

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: BODY

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ONCE

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: TOLD

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ME

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: THE

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WORLD

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: IS

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: GONNA

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ROLL

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ME

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: AINT

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: THE

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: SHARPEST

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: TOOL

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: IN

**Emily Prentiss:** SHUT UP YOURE SO ANNOYING

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: You really couldnt let me finish the lyric huh

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Ill show you annoying

**Emily Prentiss:** YOU DONT NEED TO YOU SHOW ME

**Emily Prentiss:** I KNOW EVERY TIME I SEE YOUR FACE

**JJ:** OUCH YOU NEED SOME CREAM FOR THAT BURN DEREK

**JJ:** Emily: 2 / Morgan: 0

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: EVERYONE STOP ATTACKING ME IM LITERALLY ONLY BREATHING

**Emily Prentiss:** Thats the problem

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: AHJFBAJHFBAHF

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: NEXT TIME I SEE YOU ITS ON SIGHT

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: [ https://youtu.be/vsSQBDacfRE ](https://youtu.be/vsSQBDacfRE)

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: [ https://youtu.be/Tlwda9S58Lg ](https://youtu.be/Tlwda9S58Lg)

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: YOU WANNA FIGHT LETS GO

**Emily Prentiss:** UGH

**Emily Prentiss:** DAD TELL MORGAN TO SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP

**Aaron Hotchner:** Morgan, shut up and let Prentiss sleep.

**JJ:** OH MY GOD

**Emily Prentiss:** WAIT-

**Emily Prentiss:** THAT WORKED?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: HOTCH WHAT

**Aaron Hotchner:** Um-

**Aaron Hotchner:** I was never here.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: NO YOU CANT DO THAT

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ARE YOU OUR DAD OR NOT

**Aaron Hotchner:** Hotch is sleeping and can’t come to the phone right now.

**Emily Prentiss:** HES TOTALLY OUR DAD

**Emily Prentiss:** HE LOVES US AND LOVES BEING OUR DAD

**Spencer Reid has changed Aaron Hotchner’s name to Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง**

**Emily Prentiss:** WHEN I SAY I SCREAMED OHM Y HAHAHAHA

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: REID HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU

**JJ:** SPENCE I LOVE THAT SO MUCH

**Emily Prentiss:** I DIDNT EVEN KNOW YOU COULD CHANGE SOMEONE ELSES NAME

**Spencer Reid:** It’s one of the perks of being an admin.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WAIT WHAT ABOUT WHEN WE WERE ALL HOTCHES

**JJ:** WILL IS ASLEEP DONT MAKE ME LAUGH WITH HOTCHES

**Spencer Reid:** I don’t think Hotch knew he could change our names back?

**Spencer Reid:** It’s not like it mattered at the time because none of us knew who each other was anyway.

**Spencer Reid:** But he definitely knows now.

**Spencer Reid:** Or he will when he’s not pretending to be asleep anymore.

**Emily Prentiss:** Wait wait wait

**Emily Prentiss:** Can you change my name?

**Spencer Reid:** Uh-

**Spencer Reid:** Why?

**Emily Prentiss:** Idk what to name myself and Ive never changed my name and I want something different but dont know what and youre smart and creative so please?

**Spencer Reid:** Okay.

**Spencer Reid:** I guess.

**Emily Prentiss:** Thank youuuu

**Emily Prentiss:** I just dont want a name like Morgan’s

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ARE YOU TRYING TO FIGHT AGAIN

**Emily Prentiss:** nO

**Emily Prentiss:** IM NOT ALWAYS ATTACKING YOU

**Emily Prentiss:** ITS JUST THAT THE EMOTICON THING IS YOUR THING

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: oh

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: alright then

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Thanks

**Emily Prentiss:** Doesnt mean its not stupid tho

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: PRENTISS-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: [ https://youtu.be/vUcmHED3ld0 ](https://youtu.be/vUcmHED3ld0)

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WATCH YOUR BACK-

**Emily Prentiss:** I would pay to see Hotch be the center dude right there

**Emily Prentiss:** Reid Garcia JJ

**Emily Prentiss:** ~Me~ Derek

**Emily Prentiss:** Hotch

**Emily Prentiss:** and Rossi would record

**Emily Prentiss:** My brain is immaculate-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: What are you talking about-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WAIT-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WAIT NO

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WRONG VINE

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: DANG IT

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WHATEVER

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ITS NOT LIKE IT MATTERS I LOSE EVERY FIGHT WITH EMILY

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: IM GOING BACK TO SLEEP

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: GOODNIGHT

**Emily Prentiss:** You know I love you Morgan right

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I DOUBT IT SOMETIMES

**Emily Prentiss:** Ouch

**Emily Prentiss:** But like

**Emily Prentiss:** I can see why

**Emily Prentiss:** Goodnight

**JJ:** That got heated oof

**JJ:** Spence?

**JJ:** You still there?

**Spencer Reid:** Yes.

**Spencer Reid:** I’m contemplating my choices.

**JJ:** About? 

**Spencer Reid:** I think I’ve reached a decision.

**JJ:**??

**Spencer Reid has changed Emily Prentiss’s name to 𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧**

**JJ:** AHSVFAJHFBKEF

**JJ:** HAHAHAHAHA

**JJ:** IM SILENTLY LAUGHING IN BED RN

**Spencer Reid:** I couldn’t think of anything else.

**JJ:** NO DONT WORRY

**JJ:** THATS PERFECT

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I agree

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: That is perfect

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Also I forgot to do one thing before I angrily stormed away

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: JJ

**JJ:** Yes?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Hotches.

**JJ:** SHUT UP I JUST SNORTED

**JJ:** OH MY GOD YOU MADE ME WAKE WILL UP-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: My work here is done


	35. wow i really am the glue of this team

**(⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Thurs, 6:54 AM**

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** REID

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** OH MY GOD REID

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** YOU LANKY GENIUS YOU

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** I LOVE IT SO MUCH

**Baby Girl:** who is that?

**David Rossi:** What is that?

**David Rossi:** That’s the better question.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** That has to be Emily.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Wait-

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** REID WHAT DID YOU DO

**Baby Girl:** OH MY GOD IS THAT HOTCH

**Baby Girl:** WHO

**Baby Girl:** WHEN

**Baby Girl:** WHY

**Spencer Reid:** Don’t worry about it.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Scroll up and all your questions will be answered lol

**Baby Girl:** okay im scrolling-

**Baby Girl:** THERES SO MUCH TO UNPACK OH MY I CANNOT-

**Baby Girl:** first: impeccable song choice my boo

**Baby Girl:** the only thing that can save the world at this point is shrek 5

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Agreed

**Baby Girl:** OH MY SHUT UP IM TRYING TO UNPACK I CANT DO THAT IF IM LAUGHING-

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** My bad

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Please continue to unpack

**Baby Girl:** thank you demon-

**Baby Girl:** second: lil meow meow over here keeps attacking my chocolate thunder

**Baby Girl:** its actually really funny ill let it slide

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: hEY

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ARENT YOU GONNA DEFEND MY HONOR

**Baby Girl:** what honor

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ALRIGHT THAT’S IT

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: DISHONOR

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: DISHONOR ON YOUR WHOLE FAMILY

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: JJ, MAKE A NOTE OF THIS

**JJ:** Are you making me a cricket?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: SHUT UP AND DONT RUIN MY MOMENT

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: DISHONOR ON YOU

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: DISHONOR ON YOUR COW

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: …

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: This is the part where you apologize

**Baby Girl:** no

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** No

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: FINE THEN

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I MUST CAPTURE THE AVATAR TO REGAIN MY HONOR

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : not that aGAIN-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** SHUT UP GARCIA IS UNPACKING

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: FINE

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: BUT THIS ISNT OVER

**Baby Girl:** thank you lil meow meow

**Baby Girl:** but like

**Baby Girl:** the moments passed

**Baby Girl:** all i know is im upset i slept through all that last night

**Baby Girl:** im always awake why not then-

**Spencer Reid:** Maybe the author had other purposes for you.

**Spencer Reid:** Like right now with this storyline and “unpacking” as you say.

**Baby Girl:** you freak me out when you talk like that

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: He freaks me out period

**Baby Girl:** anyway

**Baby Girl:** emilys new name instantly made me think of this vine

**Baby Girl:** [ https://youtu.be/kLvo6Y_OXmY ](https://youtu.be/kLvo6Y_OXmY)

**Baby Girl:** thats all i have to say about that

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Accurate

**Baby Girl:** would our resident dad like to say anything?

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** No.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Wait-

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Hotch isn’t here.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** He’s sleeping.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Again.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: HE KEEPS ANSWERINGTO DAD

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ITS OFFICIAL HES OUR DAD THERES NO BACKING OUT OF IT

**Spencer Reid:** [ https://youtu.be/BsuY9lHxg88 ](https://youtu.be/BsuY9lHxg88)

**Baby Girl:** [ https://youtu.be/BsuY9lHxg88 ](https://youtu.be/BsuY9lHxg88)

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: [ https://youtu.be/BsuY9lHxg88 ](https://youtu.be/BsuY9lHxg88)

**JJ:** [ https://youtu.be/BsuY9lHxg88 ](https://youtu.be/BsuY9lHxg88)

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** [ https://youtu.be/BsuY9lHxg88 ](https://youtu.be/BsuY9lHxg88)

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I'M NOT YOUR DAD

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** NO BOOGIE WOOGIE

**Spencer Reid:** Then why haven’t you changed your name back?

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง has changed their name to Aaron Hotchner**

**Spencer Reid has changed Aaron Hotchner’s name to Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง**

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** That right there is the reason why.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** LMAOOOOO

**Baby Girl:** I LOVE IT

**David Rossi:** Remember when this chat was used for business?

**David Rossi:** Me neither.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง has changed David Rossi’s name to grumpy old man**

**grumpy old man:** HEY-

**grumpy old man:** RUDE-

**JJ:** LMFAOOOOOO

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: OH MY I-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I LOVE WHEN HOTCH ATTACKS

**grumpy old man:** WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Does it matter?

**grumpy old man has left the chat**

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** LMFAOOOOOOO

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**JJ:** IM DYING I CAN'T BREATHE

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง: 1 / grumpy old man: 0

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง has removed** ✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧ **from the chat**

**Baby Girl:** I WAS GONE LITERALLY 2 SECONDS AND EVERYONES BEEN REMOVED WTF

**Baby Girl:** I WAS JUST MAKING RAMEN

**Baby Girl:** wow i really am the glue of this team

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Anyone else want to test me?

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Im sorry I cant take you seriously with that name

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** (ง⌐■_■)ง

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Im laughing again I can't-

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** you are my dAAAAD

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง has removed 𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧ from the chat**

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Anyone else?

**JJ:** Nope

**Baby Girl:** im good

**Spencer Reid:** I’m just breathing.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Good.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Have a good day.

**Baby Girl:** it really turned into the hunger games up in here

**Baby Girl:** which of us would win in the hunger games?

**Baby Girl:** my moneys on Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง has removed Baby Girl from the chat**


	36. I can’t say JJ because she is literally too JJ to be a headache.

**(⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Thurs, 1:13 PM**

**JJ:** Spence

**JJ:** Everyones glaring at us

**Spencer Reid:** We always seem to be the ultimate survivors

**JJ:** Except last time I won

**Spencer Reid has removed JJ from the chat**

**Spencer Reid:** Who’s the winner now?

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง has changed Spencer Reid’s name to my biggest headache**

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I am.

**my biggest headache:** (꒪ȏ꒪;)

**my biggest headache:** That was harsh.

**my biggest headache:** I also thought your biggest headache was Emily.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Actually, you’re right.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง has changed my biggest headache’s name to pipe cleaner with eyes**

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** HOTCH

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** YOU WEREN’T THERE FOR THAT

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** HOW-

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Dave was there.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** He told me.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** And I laughed.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** A lot.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I laughed hard.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** THIS IS EVEN MORE HARSH THAN CALLING ME YOUR BIGGEST HEADACHE

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Why?

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Because it’s true?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** OH MY GOD

**pipe cleaner with eyes added JJ, grumpy old man, 𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧, Baby Girl, and** ✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧ **to the chat**

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** WHY IS IT WHENEVER I’M ALONE WITH HOTCH BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: LMAOOOOO HE DESTROYED YOU

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Hotch: 1 / pipe cleaner: 0

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** SHUT UP AJBFAKFBAKUDFBIUF

**Baby Girl:** BOSSDADMAN STRIKES AGAIN

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Garcia.

**Baby Girl:** o-O

**Baby Girl:** dont mind me ill just be over here breathing

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** There will never be peace.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Wait

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Wait

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Hold up

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** HOW AM I YOUR BIGGEST HEADACHE

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** ITS DEFINITELY GARCIA

**Baby Girl:** HEY HEY

**Baby Girl:** WOAH WOAH W O A H

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** I SAID WHAT I SAID

**Baby Girl:** IM NOT THE HEADACHE IF ANYONES THE HEADACHE ITS DEREK

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: DONT DRAG ME INTO THIS

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I THOUGHT HOTCH WAS RIGHT THE FIRST TIME WITH THE PIPE CLEANER

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** SHSHSHSHHHSH IM NOT A PIPE CLEANER

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** PLOT TWIST ROSSI’S THE HEADACHE

**grumpy old man:** HA AS IF

**grumpy old man:** IF ANYONE THE HEADACHE IS-

**grumpy old man:** I can’t say JJ because she is literally too JJ to be a headache.

**JJ:** Thanks I think?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I mean

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: You’re not wrong-

**JJ:** Cool

**JJ:** Im great

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** You’re also the only one with a boring name

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** REID

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** WORK YOUR MAGIC

**JJ:** nononono thats fine-

**JJ:** You dont have to-

**pipe cleaner with eyes has changed JJ’s name to ✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿**

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Okay nvm

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** I love it lol

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** I feel it captures my essence

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** I agree

**Baby Girl:** i love how different hotch and reids names are for us

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Hotch could’ve at least used a font.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: You gonna take that Hotch?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Hotch?

**grumpy old man:** Aaron?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Dad?

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Wow the summoning didn’t work

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Where is he?

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Uh guys?

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** His office is locked and the lights are off-

**grumpy old man:** His car is gone.

**Baby Girl:** i have surveillance footage of him leaving the building and getting into his car.

**Baby Girl:** hes GONE gone-

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I’m at Taco Bell.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Then I’m going home.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I have a headache.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** But who caused it?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Was it Emily?

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Was it Garcia?

**Baby Girl:** was it derek?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Was it Reid?

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Hotch?

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** You all chased him off again

**grumpy old man:** All I know is I didn’t cause his headache.

**grumpy old man:** I don’t cause headaches.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Mhmm

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Sure you dont-

**grumpy old man:** Says the walking headache.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** RUDE

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Now I have a migraine.


	37. It means there’s oNLY SOUP.

**(⚡️ (⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Sat, 12:37 AM**

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Hello?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Hey, what’s up?

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** I need your help. Can you come here?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I can’t I’m buying clothes.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** All right, well, hurry up and come over here.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Uh, I can’t find them.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** What do you mean you can’t find them?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I can’t find them there’s only soup.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** What do you mean there’s only soup?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: It means there’s oNLY SOUP.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** WELL THEN GET OUT OF THE SOUP AISLE!

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ALL RIGHT YOU DON’T HAVE TO SHOUT AT ME!

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: *walking noises*

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: There’s more soup.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** What do you mean there’s more soup?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: It’s just mORE SOUP.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** GO INTO THE NEXT AISLE!

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: THERE’S STILL SOUP.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I’M AT SOUP.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE AT SOUP?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I MEAN I’M AT SOUP.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I’M AT THE SOUP STORE!

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE!?

**grumpy old man:** SHUT UP

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ...

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:**...

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: So close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything I had already written is now uploaded so now I have to actually write more lol. If anyone has any ideas for a prompt I would love to hear them so you can leave them in the comments. I love reading your comments anyway so let me know what you think!


	38. Who thought weenus was okay-

**(⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️💥SMASH💥 that 👍LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌BURDEN❌ for 💅EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️)**

**Mon, 3:24 AM**

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** We all know how the letters ueue are worthless in the word queue.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** But no one talks about how the letters we are worthless in the word owe.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Why is there a g in laughter?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** How does a g make an f sound?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Why is there an s in island? Or a c in muscle?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Why is there a th in asthma?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Why is there a b in debt?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Reid its not that deep go to sleep

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** No No

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** He has a point

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Why does the English language use extra letters in their words like-

**Baby Girl:** why is there an r in february

**Baby Girl:** and why is wednesday spelled like that

**Baby Girl:** no one pronounces it wed nes day

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I dont care

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Go to sleep-

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** But Derek-

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Think about it

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Why is colonel spelled that way

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿** : We pronounce it with an r

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** And no o’s

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Like-

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** ??

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I refuse to get sucked into your late night thoughts

**grumpy old man:** Like you haven’t kept any of us up before.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Listen-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I’m tryna sleep-

**grumpy old man:** You don’t get to complain when you’ve kept me up so many times.

**grumpy old man:** As a matter of fact

**grumpy old man:** Have you noticed that a lot of words that start with k, the k is silent?

**Baby Girl:** OMG YES

**Baby Girl:** LIKE K MAKES SUCH A PRONOUNCED NOISE

**Baby Girl:** WHY IS IT SILENT

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I-

**Baby Girl:** LIKE KNOT

**grumpy old man:** Knock.

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Knight

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Knife.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I GET IT THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE SUCKS

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** You know, the letters wh are also worthless in the word why.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Youre giving me a headache

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I feel like Hotch

**Baby Girl:** why is there a z in rendezvous

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Because its derived from French origin, Baby Girl

**Baby Girl:** I DIDNT WANT AN ACTUAL ANSWER-

**Baby Girl:** why is there a w in answer-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I-

**Baby Girl:** hold on let me rephrase that

**Baby Girl:** y is there a w in answer

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Why is there a p in receipt

**grumpy old man:** Why is there a u in tongue?

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Why is bologna spelled like that?

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** It’s a question that’s plagued me all my life.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** It’s baloney.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** B A L O N E Y.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Don't talk to me if you prefer the bologna spelling.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Thank you and goodnight.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Hotch really said 'Thanks for coming to my TedTalk™' and dipped

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** What a mood

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Who knew he was so pressed about baloney lol

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** And yes Im spelling baloney like that

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** BOLOGNA IS RIDICULOUS-

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Maybe Im pressed too whoops-

**Baby Girl:** how have rossi and bossman complained before derek has-

**Baby Girl:** hes usually the source of the chaos

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Says you

**Baby Girl:** RUDE-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: And all you guys have accomplished is making me think of that one vine

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: [ https://youtu.be/FPZi51GL3cs ](https://youtu.be/FPZi51GL3cs)

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Accurate

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** And iconic

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I’m not dropping this until you complain, Morgan.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Something in the English language has to irk you.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I’m not getting involved tonight

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: It’s not happening

**grumpy old man:** “Look at me, I’m Morgan who says he wants to sleep yet is doing anything but.”

**grumpy old man:** If you’re not going to complain with us, then mute the chat and sleep.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Careful, old man

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Don;’t live up to your name on my account

**Baby Girl:** OMGHASFVYAFBKAFB

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** LMFAOOOOOO

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** ROSSI YOU JUST GOT ANNIHILATED IM DYING-

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Morgan: 1 / Rossi: 0

**grumpy old man:** I-

**grumpy old man:** I have no retaliation.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Wait-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Did I just-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Win a fight-

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Dont get used to it

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: LET ME HAVE THIS PRENTISS

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** No

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: GOODNIGHT-

\---------

**(⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️💥SMASH💥 that 👍LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌BURDEN❌ for 💅EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️)**

**Mon, 4:54 AM**

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Okay but like-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Why do gross words exist

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Like ointment

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: And moist

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: And how come when I look at a word too long it doesnt look like a word anymore

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Who came up with weenus-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Who thought weenus was okay-

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** How long have you been holding onto that?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I couldnt sleep I had to get it off my chest-

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I’ll allow it.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** The mood is still Hotch complaining about baloney and leaving

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** He woke up at 3:30 am

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Complained about baloney

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** And went back to sleep

**Baby Girl:** we stan a slightly bothered king

**grumpy old man:** Did you idiots really not go back to sleep?

**Baby Girl:** did you?

**grumpy old man:** That’s besides the point.

**grumpy old man:** It’s been an hour and a half why are we still talking about this-

**Baby Girl:** dont you dare say it reid

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** For

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** the

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** plot.

**Baby Girl:** rEID-

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** It’s ironic when you think about it.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Rossi’s an author.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Is this nothing but a fabricated story?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** We will never know.

**Baby Girl:** REID STOP GIVING ME HEADACHES AT 5 IN THE MORNING

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Welcome to my world.


	39. I guess he doesn't like jazz.

**(⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️💥SMASH💥 that 👍LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌BURDEN❌ for 💅EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️)**

**Wed, 12:09 PM**

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** The bee, of course, flies anyway

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** because it doesn’t care what humans think is possible.

**grumpy old man:** No.

**grumpy old man:** Not like this.

**grumpy old man:** I refuse.

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** I don’t care-

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Not like it matters tho

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** That’s all I know-

**grumpy old man:** Thank goodness.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

**grumpy old man:** No-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: YES.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Barry! Breakfast is ready!

**grumpy old man:** NO.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Why not?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I, personally, would love to have the entire bee movie script in our little neck of the woods

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: You know Reid has it all somewhere in his head.

**grumpy old man:** I WOULDN’T.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Wow.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Even when grumpy, he tries to type with proper grammar

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Can't relate

**Baby Girl:** me neither

**grumpy old man:** SHUT UP.

**grumpy old man:** AT LEAST I KNOW HOW TO USE PROPER GRAMMAR.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: We know how to use grammar

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: We just choose not to

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** And you can't say youre using proper grammar when youre yelling at us

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** In all caps

**grumpy old man:** I did nothing why are you attacking me-

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Look who lost his grammar.

**grumpy old man:** How did this turn into “Attack Rossi hours” JJ and Reid were literally reciting the Bee Movie script-

**grumpy old man:** How does Reid even know the Bee Movie?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Don’t worry about it.

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Henry loves that movie

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** He’s persuaded Spence to watch it

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** A lot

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Ya like jazz?

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Yes

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Jazz it up Pretty Boy

**Baby Girl:** what morgan said

**grumpy old man:** Must you all ignore me and pretend like I’m not here?

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Did you guys hear something?

**Baby Girl:** mustve been the wind

**grumpy old man:** THIS IS A GROUP CHAT.

**grumpy old man:** THERE IS NO WIND.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** The wind sounds grumpy.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** LMFAOOOO

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** You brought that upon yourself Rossi lol

**grumpy old man:** I miss when it was Hotch getting the headaches.

**grumpy old man:** Not me.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I’m only sharing the love.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** You know the saying.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** If you can’t beat them, join them.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Thinking bee.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Thinking bee.

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Is he-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Is he really-

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Thinking bee.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Thinking bee!

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** HE IS OMF

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Thinking bee!

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Thinking bee!

**Baby Girl:** thinking bee!

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Thinking bee!

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Thinking bee!

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Thinking bee!

**grumpy old man:** Goodnight.

**Baby Girl:** youre at work david

**grumpy old man:** Oh, right.

**grumpy old man:** I forgot.

**grumpy old man:** Being in this chat makes time slow down.

**Baby Girl:** rUDE-

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Rossi doesn’t pass the vibe check

**grumpy old man:** Whatever.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: We dont claim him

**grumpy old man:** No. You only claim me for my money and my mansion.

**Baby Girl:** SSHHSHSHHSHSHHSH NO WE DONT-

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** He’s so grumpy he’s making up lies

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I guess he doesn’t like jazz.

**Baby Girl:** ASJFVJAHDFBJ REID-


	40. You’re going to give me an aneurysm.

**(⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️💥SMASH💥 that 👍LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌BURDEN❌ for 💅EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️)**   
**Fri, 2:28 PM**

**grumpy old man:** Why is the bullpen empty?

**grumpy old man:** Where is everyone?

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** The bullpen’s empty?

**grumpy old man:** Reid’s satchel isn’t even on his chair.

**grumpy old man:** I’m sure they’re off doing something stupid.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I am so tired of being the only responsible adult here.

**grumpy old man:** “Responsible.”

**grumpy old man:** I laugh in your face.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** What do you mean?

**grumpy old man:** Are you choosing not to remember when you blackmailed me and Reid into sending Vines?

**grumpy old man:** How about when you got drunk and tried to attack Morgan?

**grumpy old man:** You changed my name to this by the way.

**grumpy old man:** You also enabled everyone into “tHinKiNg bEe” and attacking me.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Those are all things a responsible adult must do to survive.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** It’s not like you’re much better.

**grumpy old man:** Really?

**grumpy old man:** Name one thing I’ve done.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** See, that’s not fair.

**grumpy old man:** It’s because there is nothing.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Well-

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** At least I’m the father here and not a child.

**grumpy old man:** I.

**grumpy old man:** Am.

**grumpy old man:** Not.

**grumpy old man:** A.

**grumpy old man:** Child.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Sure.

**grumpy old man:** Well-

**grumpy old man:** At least I’m not the father who lost his five children.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Exactly. Five children.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I didn’t lose you.

**grumpy old man:** HOW AM I A CHILD I AM LITERALLY THE OLDEST ONE HERE.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** That’s why your name is grumpy old man.

**grumpy old man:** You’re going to give me an aneurysm.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Makes sense since you’re old.

**grumpy old man:** AM I OLD OR AM I A CHILD

**grumpy old man:** MAKE UP YOUR MIND

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** The oldest because I don’t want to be the only one responsible for losing our children.

**grumpy old man:** OUR children?

**grumpy old man:** No no. You’re their father. You’re responsible.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I never asked to be responsible.

**grumpy old man:** Too bad.

**grumpy old man:** You’re the one they call Dad.

**grumpy old man:** You’re the one that answers to Dad.

**grumpy old man:** Your name is literally Dad.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** That doesn’t mean anything.

**grumpy old man:** It means you’re responsible for them.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** They’re not children?

**grumpy old man:** They’re your children.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Are they children?

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** My head hurts.

**grumpy old man:** Mine too.

**grumpy old man:** But I refuse to lose.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I already lost when I made this chat.

**grumpy old man:** Would you say you are dealing with the consequences of your actions?

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I have many headaches.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** So yes.

**grumpy old man:** Me: 1 / You: 0

**grumpy old man:** That feels good.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Whatever.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Serious question.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Where are the children?

**grumpy old man:** So they are children?

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Well, they sure act like children.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I am baby.

**grumpy old man:** What-

**grumpy old man:** Um-

**grumpy old man:** I have many questions.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Let’s start with this.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Where are you guys?

**grumpy old man:** Not what I would’ve started with but okay.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** On the roof.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** What-

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Why?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Don’t worry about it.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I am in a constant state of worry.

**grumpy old man:** Me too, you ain’t special.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Shut up, Dave.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : Who will come out on top in this all or nothing showdown?

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : Grizzled Past his Prime David Rossi?

**grumpy old man:** WTF WHY DO YOU INSULT ME LIKE THIS OUT OF NOWHERE I DID NOTHING

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : Or Emotionless Robot Aaron Hotchner?

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Prentiss, why are you like this?

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : Find out this Friday, 7 pm central time on CBS.

**grumpy old man:** YOU KNOW WHAT

**grumpy old man:** I DONT EVEN CARE WHAT YOURE DOING ANYMORE

**grumpy old man:** GOODBYE

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : Aaron Hotchner wins by forfeit.

**grumpy old man:** YOU LISTEN HERE-

✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿: Wow

✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿: We broke Rossi

✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿: I didn’t even know that was possible

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I think Dave just stormed out.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I’ll get him later.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** : Will someone tell me what you guys are doing on the roof?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: We may or may not be dropping water balloons on people down below

**Baby Girl:** definitely not

**Baby Girl:** nope

**Baby Girl:** we are inside doing our work like good fbi agents

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Okay.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** then why is Reid’s satchel gone?

**Baby Girl:** …

**Baby Girl:** no reason…

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I brought the balloons.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** At this point I’m not even surprised anymore.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** (-‿◦☀)

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Now that Hotch and Rossi know what we’re up to-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: JJ HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT THIS OML

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: SHE HAS HIT SO MANY PEOPLE ITS UNREAL-

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : IKR LIKE I THOUGHT I WAS GOOD AT THIS

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : JJ IS A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL OF GOOD

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : WE MUST BOW TO OUR QUEEN

**Baby Girl:** we stan

✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿: I’m just dropping balloons guys

✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿: They just happen to land on people’s heads

✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿: No biggie

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: SHUT UP YOURE LITERALLY SO GOOD

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** The way you all are phrasing everything makes it sound like you’ve done this before.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** That worries me.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** More worry to add onto my pile of worry.

**Baby Girl** **:** nope

**Baby Girl:** definitely havent done this more than once

**Baby Girl:** we are still good fbi agents

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** You see, I wonder why I don’t believe you.

**Baby Girl:** OW

**Baby Girl:** I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Anyway-

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** When are you guys coming back down?

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** There’s still work to do.

**grumpy old man:** : THEY WON’T COME BACK DOWN IF THEY KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR THEM

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** ?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Wait what did we do

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Other than drop water balloons on peoples heads

**grumpy old man:** I DONT KNOW

**grumpy old man:** MAYBE DROP A WATER BALLOON ON MY HEAD

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : WHAT-

**Baby Girl:** I DONT WANNA DIE

✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿: GUYS I PROMISE IT WASNT ME

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: THEN WHO WAS IT

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Wait-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: REID?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I can explain.

**grumpy old man:** PLEASE DO

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** You walked out of the building into my line of fire.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** So technically this is your fault.

**grumpy old man:** YOU WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : Okay yeah we are dead

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Nice knowing you guys.

**Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Maybe this will teach you not to slack off work.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: SHUT UP HOTCH-


	41. Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง

**(⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️💥SMASH💥 that 👍LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌BURDEN❌ for 💅EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️)**

**Sun, 3:14 AM**

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I woke up in a cold sweat with the best idea that I can’t execute because I don’t have admin rights

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Reid

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Reid wake up

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I need your admin rights

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: rEID

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WAKE UP

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: IN THE MORNING FEELIN LIKE P DIDDY

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: GRAB MY JACKET IM OUT THE DOOR IM GONNA HIT THIS CITY

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: DONT STOP MAKE IT POP

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: DJ BLOW MY SPEAKERS UP

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: TONIGHT IMMA FIGHT

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: IF YOU DONT WAKE UP REID

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** SHUT UP BEFORE I DROPKICK YOU

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: BET

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: DO IT YOU WONT

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** BET

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** IM OMW

**grumpy old man:** Oh boy.

**grumpy old man:** That’s your own fault, Derek.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Shes not gonna actually do it

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: All talk and no bite

**grumpy old man:** All right then.

**grumpy old man:** Whatever helps you sleep at night.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Thats the thing

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I can't sleep

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ADMIN RIGHTS

**grumpy old man:** This conversation is exactly why you don’t have admin rights.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: SHUT UP YOU DONT HAVE ADMIN RIGHTS EITHER

**grumpy old man:** I’ve put that betrayal behind me.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Mhmm sureeee

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Anyway-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: REID WAKE UP

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: IM NOT GOING TO SLEEP UNTIL YOU DO

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Alright fine youre forcing my hand

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: PIPE CLEANER

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: MR. PIPE CLEANER WITH EYES

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Wait I mean-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: DR. PIPE CLEANER WITH EYES

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WAKE UP

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** WHAT DO YOU WANT OH MY GOD

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: PERFECT YOURE HERE

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I NEED YOU TO CHANGE HOTCHS NAME

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** YOU WOKE ME UP FOR THIS

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: YES

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: CHANGE HIS NAME TO SAD

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** WHAT?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I cannot believe you.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** You woke me up for one letter.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: You sound like Emily

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** WELL NOW I UNDERSTAND

**pipe cleaner with eyes has changed Dad (ง⌐■_■)ง’s name to Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง**

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** NOW LEAVE ME ALONE

**grumpy old man:** I have never seen Reid type in all caps so much.

**grumpy old man:** Also, you woke in a cold sweat for that?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Once it hit me I couldnt ignore it

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: They always say to make your dreams a reality

**grumpy old man:** I don’t think that’s what they meant.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ANYWAY-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Goodnight

**grumpy old man:** Goodnight I think?

\---------

**(⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️💥SMASH💥 that 👍LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌BURDEN❌ for 💅EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️)**

**Sun, 3:20 AM**

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: GUYS

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: GUYS

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I HAVE A SITUATION

**grumpy old man:** Morgan, go to bed.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I WOULD LIKE TO

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: BUT I AM RUNNING

**grumpy old man:** What did you do now?

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** HE TESTED ME

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** I SAID I WAS OMW

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: SHES GONNA DROPKICK ME HELP

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I’m rooting for Emily.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: REID WTF I DID NOTHING

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I have screenshots and an eidetic memory that says different.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WHY IS NO ONE HELPING ME

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: SHUT UP AND GO AWAY

**Baby Girl:** thats my favorite lyric in obsession by exo

**Baby Girl:** what a bop

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: PENELOPE THATS NOT HELPFUL

**Baby Girl:** whoops

**Baby Girl:** oh well

**Baby Girl:** bye

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ASFHBAHFKBAKFH

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: NO ONE HERE LOVES ME

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง** : Prentiss, stop chasing Morgan.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: YES THANK YOU HOTCH

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Awwwww

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Thank you.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Wait.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** My name-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** I changed my mind.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Do as you please, Emily.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** YES

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: NO

**grumpy old man:** EMILY HURRY UP AND KILL HIM IM TRYING TO SLEEP

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** ON IT BOSS

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: HELP-

\---------

**(⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️💥SMASH💥 that 👍LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌BURDEN❌ for 💅EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️)**

**Sun, 7:32 AM**

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** What did I miss last night omg

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Hello?

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** No one’s gonna tell me anything?

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Okay

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I have been dropkicked

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Oh-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Dont worry about it

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Wasn’t planning on it

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: ASHDBASFJKBKF IM SO UNLOVED-


	42. Be gone, Thot.

**(⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️ )**

**Tues, 8:11 AM**

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Hey guys

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Guess what

**grumpy old man:** I don’t care.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Your insults don’t phase me

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** You left off our last conversation yelling how unloved you were

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: SHUT UP-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I’VE MOVED PAST THAT-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I’VE EVOLVED

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Who here thinks Morgan has evolved

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** I don’t

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Nope

**grumpy old man:** Can pigs fly?

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** No.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** 👎 👎 👎

**Baby Girl:** sorry my chocolate thunder but you havent

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WHY DO YOU ALL HATE ME SO

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Case in point.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: wait-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WHY DID NONE OF YOU ANSWER WHEN I SAID GUESS WHAT YOU WERE ALL CLEARLY HERE

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** We all had better things to do

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: LIKE WHAT WATCH ME SUFFER

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Yes, precisely.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: SHUT UP PIPE CLEANER

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** ┌(▀Ĺ̯▀)┐

**grumpy old man:** I give up.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Join the club.

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** You guys give up like everyday we get it

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** It’s cause they’re old

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** EXCUSE ME?

**grumpy old man:** YOU BETTER WATCH IT MISSY

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Rossi your name literally has old in it

**grumpy old man:** SO?

**Baby Girl:** you know what they say

**Baby Girl:** you cant spell david rossi and aaron hotchner without old

**grumpy old man:** YES YOU CAN YOU LITERALLY CAN

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** WHAT DID I EVER DO?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I love the misery of other people that aren’t me

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** It’s a great feeling right

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Yeah

**grumpy old man:** Glad I could be of service.

**Baby Girl:** thanks rossi!

**grumpy old man:** I hate all of you.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** ꐑ(ཀ ඊູ ఠీੂ)༼ू༈೧ູ࿃ूੂ༽(ଳծູɵੂ≢)ꐑ

**grumpy old man:** I’m leaving.

**grumpy old man:** I want out of this family.

**Baby Girl:** t͔͇̦h͙͙͖e̦̼͇r̝̝̟e̙̪̠s̢͉͎ n̟̘͍o̺͜ w̢̙̫a̢͉͍y̡͓͍ o̟̞͎u͚̠̻t̢͚̪

**Baby Girl:** o̪̪̻n̦͎̪e͓͎͔ o̺̟f̼̟͎ u̘͚s̠̙͉

**Baby Girl:** o̪̪̻n̦͎̪e͓͎͔ o̺̟f̼̟͎ u̘͚s̠̙͉

**Baby Girl:** o̪̪̻n̦͎̪e͓͎͔ o̺̟f̼̟͎ u̘͚s̠̙͉

**grumpy old man:** No.

**grumpy old man:** I refuse.

**grumpy old man:** Go away.

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Rossi don’t look now but Penelope is right outside your office

**grumpy old man:** Be gone, Thot.

**Baby Girl:** ASJFHVHFKFGKL

**Baby Girl:** WHO TAUGHT HIM THAT

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: OMFGGGG

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** LMFAO IM CACKLING

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Can confirm, Emily is cackling

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** THANK YOU GENIUS

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Everyday I lose hope.

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** SHUT UP HOTCH LET US HAVE THIS FOR ONCE

**Baby Girl:** I HAD TO LEAVE ROSSIS OFFICE I LITERALLY CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS OML

**grumpy old man:** I want to go home.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I’m going to do my best Hotch impersonation.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** *ahem*

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** It’s only 8 in the morning and there’s so much work to do today so you can’t go home yet because there’s stacks and stacks of work to do.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Do you have any whiskey?

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Nailed it

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧ **:** 10/10 would impersonate again

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** LMFAOOOO I LOVE MY JOB

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** If I could, I would leave the chat.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** But I can’t leave Reid to be the only one with admin rights.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** It would be anarchy.

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Thousands would die

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** It would cause a war

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** You did the right thing Hotch

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** JJ WHAT-

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** But I am also an ✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: We been knew

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** (ノ ゜口゜)ノ

**grumpy old man:** I do love the smell of my coworkers suffering in the morning.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** oh no guys

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** GUYS

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** GET DOWN

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : STRAUSS IS COMING

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** I SEE HER AT THE ELEVATOR

**Baby Girl:** ew hate her

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Well bye-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WAIT WAIT YOU GUYS CAN'T LEAVE YET

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** And why not?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: NONE OF YOU EVER GUESSED WHAT WHEN I SAID GUESS WHAT

**Baby Girl:** i-

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** Okay

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** What?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I AM THE BOX GHOST

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: FEAR ME

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** ASFBLALDFLBJK

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** YOU CREATED A WHOLE RUCKUS FOR THAT-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Yes

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: And?

**grumpy old man:** I want to leave again.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Take me with you.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: BEWARE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I left this fic without an update for months! I'll try to update this one more often. I have been writing and posting other works if you want to check those out!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	43. ╭∩╮(︶︿︶)╭∩╮

**(⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️💥 SMASH💥 that 👍 LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌ BURDEN❌ for 💅 EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️)**

**Fri, 12:02 AM**

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Hey guys?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Guys?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Hello??

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I have all night.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Hello???

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I’m not Morgan so why isn’t anyone answering?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: EXCUSE ME-

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** So you are reading my texts.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: YEAH ONLY CAUSE YOU KEEP BLOWING OUR PHONES UP

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** OH MY GOD WHAT DO YOU IDIOTS WANT IM TRYING TO SLEEP

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: REID INSULTED ME

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** WE ALL INSULT YOU GET WITH THE PROGRAM

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: I DID NOT SIGN ON FOR THIS

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** TOO BAD YOURE STUCK ON A PLANE WITH ME SO SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Can I talk now?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: NO YOU STARTED THIS

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I know for sure what I have to say is more important than whatever you have to say.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Like always.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: HOTCH I NEED ADMIN RIGHTS

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: REID STARTED A WAR I INTEND TO WIN

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: PLEASE

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** No.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** :)

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: :(

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** GET REKT DEREK

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** NOW EVERYONE SHUT UP

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** IM TRYING TO SLEEP

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I can’t let that happen yet.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Who all is awake?

**grumpy old man:** Everyone, Reid. You woke everyone up.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Really? Everyone?

**grumpy old man:** Except for JJ. She can sleep through anything.

**grumpy old man:** And Garcia is at home.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Wow.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** You know, I don’t even want to tell you guys anymore.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I want to see how long it takes for you to figure it out.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Figure what out, Reid?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Give it a minute.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** The answer will become glaringly clear.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : STOP BEING CRYPTIC I WANNA SLEEP

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** That answer is incorrect.

**grumpy old man:** It’s too late for puzzles, Reid.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I am very quickly losing confidence in all of you.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Reid, it’s been a long case. Try and get some sleep, okay?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I am baffled at the events unfolding before my eyes.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I can’t tell if you guys are being serious or messing with me.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Thats exactly how I feel towards you rn

**Baby Girl:** what is going on its late

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I wish I could tell you, Garcia.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Reid is being confusing and interrupting our sleep on the plane

**Baby Girl:** oh

**Baby Girl:** sounds like a you problem

**Baby Girl:** night

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Goodnight Baby Girl

**grumpy old man:** Do not disturb me. Any of you.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Wait-

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Goodnight.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** NO ONE BOTHER ME

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Guys-

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Guys?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Do you guys really not see what the problem is?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Hello?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Wow.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I do so much for this team.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I am: shooketh

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** 〳 ͡° Ĺ̯ ͡° 〵

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** I WILL DROPKICK YOU LIKE I DID MORGAN SHUT UP

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Do it.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** ??

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Bet.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Do it.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** You won’t.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Who taught Reid to speak like that?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Not important.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I’m waiting to be drop kicked.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Why are you asking this upon yourself this isnt the way you want to go

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Maybe I want the experience.

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Wtf is going on-

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Emily, I’m waiting.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** IM TRYING TO FIND YOU

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : WHERE ARE YOU

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** That’s a great question.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Where could I possibly be?

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** What is happening here?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Emily’s really close to figuring out the answer is what’s happening.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** WAIT

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** I GOT THE ANSWER

**grumpy old man:** Not that I care, but Emily, what is the answer?

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧** : REIDS NOT ON THE PLANE

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** That answer is correct!

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Emily is our winner!

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Her prize is: ☆ ℳ 𝓎 𝒹 𝒾 𝓈 𝒶 𝓅 𝓅 ℴ 𝒾 𝓃 𝓉 𝓂 ℯ 𝓃 𝓉 ☆

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** WOW WHAT A THOUGHTFUL GIFT I CAN DO SO MUCH WITH THAT

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** NOW THAT I KNOW THE ANSWER I AM ACTUALLY GOING BACK TO SLEEP GOODNIGHT

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** WAIT WHAT-

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Wait-

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN REID’S NOT ON THE PLANE?

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง** : REID WHERE ARE YOU

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** On the ground.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** THAT’S NOT HELPFUL REID

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** ＼_( ゜э゜)_／

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Whoops.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** HOW ARE YOU NOT ON THE PLANE?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I don’t know.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** REID.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Don’t ask me. I’m not the one who forgot my teammate.

**Baby Girl:** ASKJFBAKUGBG REID

**Baby Girl:** OH MY GOD

**Baby Girl:** HOW DID YOU ALL FORGET HIM

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT.

**Baby Girl:** WAIT

**Baby Girl:** WHERE DID ROSSI GO

**grumpy old man:** I am not associating myself with this.

**grumpy old man:** In other words-

**grumpy old man:** This sounds like a you problem.

**Baby Girl:** ROSSI I JUST SAID THAT WOW STEALER-

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** THANKS DAVID I’M GLAD YOU HAVE MY BACK-

**grumpy old man:** Who’s the Unit Chief again?

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** SHUT UP-

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** ALRIGHT

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** REID WE’RE COMING BACK FOR YOU.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I’ll be waiting to be picked up.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Until then-

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** ╭∩╮(︶︿︶)╭∩╮

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Here’s an idea

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** What if we just

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Don’t get him?

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** I AM STILL HERE.

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** Not on the plane tho

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** (;¬_¬)

\---------

**(⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️💥SMASH💥 that 👍LIKE BUTTON👍 if you feel like a ❌BURDEN❌ for 💅EXISTING💅 ⚡️(⌐■_■)⚡️)**

**Fri, 4:41 AM**

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** YOU FORGOT SPENCE

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** HOW COULD YOU LEAVE HIM BEHIND

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: REID DID YOU TELL ON US

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** Of course I did.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** o(^▽^)o

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** NO ONE WOKE ME UP BEFORE TO TELL ME?

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: HES ON THE PLANE NOW ITS OKAY

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: BLAME HOTCH

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: BLAMING HOTCH SOLVES ALL YOUR PROBLEMS

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: A DEREK MORGAN GUARANTEE

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** You know what I am going to do that

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧: Wait really-

**✿𝑬𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔✿:** AARON HOTCHNER

✧.｡ﾟ♡୧(◕ᴥ◕)୨♡ﾟ｡.✧ **:** OH MY GOD

**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** AJFLDAFNLDSFLMFAOOOOO

**grumpy old man:** Nice knowing you, Aaron.

**pipe cleaner with eyes:** (☍﹏⁰)

**Baby Girl:** I JUST CHOKED ON MY OWN SPIT OMFGGGGGG

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Hotch can’t come to the phone right now.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** He’s sleeping.

**Sad (ง⌐■_■)ง:** Goodbye.

**Baby Girl:** lmaooooo

**grumpy old man:** He’s so dead.

**pipe cleaner with eyes has named the chat へ( ̿̿ o ̿̿ )╮🥔 BLAMING🥔 🌪.HOTCH🌪 SOLVES ALL YOUR 🌚 PROBLEMS🌚 A 💋 DEREK MORGAN💋 🎯 GUARANTEE🎯 へ( ̿̿ o ̿̿ )╮**

  
**𝓶ҽσɯ 𝓶ҽσɯ (=ↀωↀ=)✧:** We shouldve left Reid behind


End file.
